In Your Eyes
by secretscribe89
Summary: A look at the life Julian and Alexis would have had if he had called her all those years ago and they saw each other again after that first night. A JuLexis love story.
1. Chapter 1

_"I'm pregnant." _

_He looked at her. Deep into her chestnut brown eyes as they peered into his and sparkled as the tears welled within them. _

_"What?" _

_"You heard me," She shook her head and looked away, wiping her tears. She looked back down the path they had traveled through the freshly fallen autumn leaves to where they stood beside the small pond at the end of the woods. She felt like running… had she not felt like she was going to vomit at any moment, she would have run. She would have run until she couldn't run anymore. _

_"Alexandra," He placed a hand on her arm, nudging her to look back in his direction. _

_"What?" _

_"How do you know for sure?" _

_She rolled her eyes, "Certain things happen to a woman's body when they are pregnant. Trust me, I know." _

_"You… you're…" He stammered. _

_"I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with your baby." She watched carefully as suddenly his expression changed from one of shock, to awe, to a look of fierce determination. _

_"I'm going to take care of you." _

_"No… no, I don't want… I only came here to tell you because you deserve to know…" She stopped when he brushed a stray piece of hair from her face. _

_"I know that we don't know each other that well…" He sighed, "And I'm sorry for that. I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to see you as much as I would have liked. I swear to you… you mean more to me than one night at a bar, Alexandra… You mean so much more." _

_"You're being very nice but, I understand…. I understand if you just want to go on with your life." _

_"I do… I want to go one with my life with you in it… and our child." He watched her look away again. She was so strong. He could see it by the way she crossed her arms in front of her and the stern look she had in her eye. And yet- he knew she was scared. She was as scared as he was, he could tell. He had spent the equivalent of all of three or four days with this girl and yet, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Looking at her stand in front of him and announce she was pregnant with their child… nothing had ever been more clear to him. He loved her, "I want… I want to take care of you. I will do whatever it takes. Who else knows about this…?" _

_"My brother. Stefan." She wiped a lone tear as it escaped her eye, "The nurse… she insisted on calling my father but I just couldn't. I couldn't stop crying and I just begged her not to. I told her that I wanted to call him myself… but I didn't. I called Stefan and he pretended to be my father." _

_"You must have been so scared… I'm so sorry…" He found himself growing emotional as well. He hated that she was left in that terrifying situation by himself. He was partially responsible for this. He deserved to take the wrath as well. _

_"Stefan… he's going to come get me. Today…" She sniffled as her emotions took over and tears overwhelmed her cheeks, "He promised me that my father wouldn't know… he said… He said that he would find a place for us to live." _

_"Please, please let me help you." He pled with her, gripping her arms with his hands, "Please." _

_"How?" Her voice was small and riddled with fear, "How can you help me, Julian? I'm only sixteen years old and I'm preg…" She stopped when she noticed his eyes widen. _

_"You're… you're sixteen?" He blinked, "I thought…" _

_"I lied to you…" She cried, "I lied to get into the bar and I lied to you when you asked me… I lied… I lied and now I'm in a situation that I created and I can't get myself out of." _

_"It doesn't matter to me," Julian reassured her as he pulled her closer, "You lied before and you can lie again. You can say you're eighteen… we'll go to the courthouse and get a license." _

_"A license?" _

_"A marriage license." _

_She felt her own eyes widen, "Marriage!? I don't… I don't know… I mean…" _

_"It's the only way. Marry me… please, marry me. We will get your brother to help us." _

_"What about school?" _

_"I'm graduating this spring…" He paused when her face grew weary, "You will finish, too. I'll help you get through it. We will be together… with our baby."_

_Looking into his eyes, she couldn't help but smile. This man that she barely knew. This boy who she gave her virginity to in the backseat of his car a moment of heated passion and now she was carrying his child… he wanted to take care of her. He wanted to help her. No one had ever looked at her the way he was looking at her in that moment. _

_"I…" He pulled her closer, peering deeply into her eyes, "I love you." _

_"Julian…" _

_"I do, Alexandra… I love you… I have never looked at someone and felt what I feel." He knew it was right. He did love her. And she nodded… she nodded and he could only hope that meant she loved him too. _

They met eyes from across the room, drawing him from his daydream. It only lasted a moment. But it was enough… enough for him to see that what was there all those years ago was still there in spite of everything between them. She looked away, continuing to smooth their granddaughter's raven hair away from her face as she slept in her lap. It was going to be a long night. A long, quiet night.

"Any word?"

Julian looked up at the voice and smiled as Molly handed him a cup of coffee, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Molly took a seat beside him, they both watched as Kristina delivered the cup to their mother, setting a smaller one on the table in front of them.

"Lila's hot chocolate." Kristina smiled before brushed her hand along her niece's hair.

"She just fell asleep," Alexis spoke softly, still smoothing the young girl's hair as it rested atop her legs. She glanced at her watch, "It's almost 2… are you sure you girls don't want to go home?"

"No!" Molly spoke up from where she sat beside Julian and smiled, "We're not going to miss this… not for anything."

Alexis smiled to her youngest daughter before her eyes shifted to the man sitting beside her, legs crossed with his eyes cast upward from the warm cup in his hands on which he had been trying to keep his focus. Instead, he was looking at her… the way that he always did. To this very day there was no one else in the world that looked at her the way Julian did... with no one else could she see the love in their eyes at one glance. It was always only him.

_Julian entered the room slowly and practically melted at the sight of Alexis and Sam snuggled on the bed together. He tried to be quiet as he set their coffees on the table but Alexis' eyes quickly opened as soon as she sensed him come closer. _

_"I'm sorry… go back to sleep." He leaned in for a kiss and she smiled. _

_"I wasn't sleeping," She kissed their little girls head._

_"How is she now?" Julian studied Sam as she slept, brushing his hand lightly over her forehead, "She doesn't feel as warm." _

_"I thought the same thing," His wife replied as she rested her cheek atop Sam's head, "The doctor said it was going down and the antibiotics are working…" _

_"Thank God…" Julian sighed, taking a seat in the chair, "I never knew a tonsillectomy could be so complicated." _

_"I guess infection can be a little more common when the patients are younger… that's what the nurse said, at least. And even though she is five… she's small for her age." _

_"She's our peanut," Julian smirked as he took Alexis' hand, "little did we know from that first sonogram picture that we would be calling her peanut for the rest of her life." _

_"I don't know how she's going to feel about that when she's thirty…" Alexis rolled her eyes, "Although, you could probably say or do anything and she would still think you were the greatest man in the entire world." _

_"Well, I mean.. .what can I say?" He laughed when she rolled her eyes. _

_"I need a little mamma's boy… that's what I need…" Alexis snuggled their daughter close, "Then we can be even." _

_"Really?" He waited for her to look back to him, but instead she stayed focused on Sam, smoothing her blankets and fiddling with the I.V. cords. _

_"Now that I've finished with law school and I'm getting settled into the firm… things have calmed down." _

_"They have, yes…" _

_"I mean, that would be nice, wouldn't it?" She looked up at him again, "To have another baby…" _

_"Sure…" He smiled softly and grasped her hand, "But are you ready for that?" _

_"Well, I mean…" She shrugged, "I guess I kind of have to be, right?" _

_"What?" Looking into her eyes, he saw the glimmer before the smile even registered to his brain, "Alexis… are you?" _

_"Am I what?" She raised a brow, her smile broadening from ear to ear. _

_"You're pregnant…" Julian met her eyes one again and immediately his own began to sting as they filled with tears, "We're having another baby?!" _

_"Yeah…" She nodded excitedly, "I'm pregnant." _

_"Oh… Oh my God, Lexie…" He sprung from his chair pulled her into a hug as gently as his excitement would allow, as to not disturb their sleeping daughter, "We're having a baby!" _

_"Yes, we're having a baby!" She answered him again with excitement bubbling from her words before he covered her lips with his own for a long passionate kiss. When they broke, she simply locked her eyes with his as his hand gently grazed her cheek. _

_"I love you so much." _

_Alexis nodded, "I love you, too." _

_"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Alexis Jerome… The best thing." He couldn't break his eyes away from hers. He couldn't stop looking at her. The love of his life. The mother of his daughter… now the mother of his children. Another child. Another living breathing representation of their love. Life couldn't get any better. _


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Glad to see some Favoriters and Followers! Hope there is interest in this story as I find my interest in writing it growing with every word... LOL. **

**If you read, please leave a review! I love to read what people like/dislike and their reactions to the story. It's one of the best parts of sharing! :) **

**Enjoy! **

Chapter Two

One of the best days of his life. Five years into their marriage and it seemed as if life was giving them everything they could have ever dreamed of.

Julian took a sip of his coffee and turned back to Molly who was looking at him curiously, "I'm sorry… did you say something, honey?"

"Yeah…" Molly chuckled, "I was just asking about the paper. I was wondering if I was going to be able to intern for you this summer?"

"Oh, uh…" Julian didn't know how to answer the girl. He certainly would love to have her in his office, but one quick glance to her mother told him that it probably wasn't the best idea. He turned back to Molly with a smile and a shift of the eye towards her mother, "I think that's something you need to discuss with her…"

'Mom doesn't mind… right?" Molly looked curiously to her mother, who she found speechless, "Mom?"

"Molly…" Alexis smirked uncomfortably before clearing her throat, "I think we can probably discuss this later, no? There's a lot going on right now…"

"Okay…" She turned back to Julian, lowering her voice, "I'm not giving up on this."

"Okay." He chuckled, before taking another sip of his coffee he glanced at his watch, "It's almost 2:30… do you think we should check with someone? Has there even been a nurse around at all in the past hour?"

"These things take a little while, you know…" Alexis eyed him knowingly.

"I know… I just worry…" He sighed before rising from his seat a placing his free hand in his pocket. He knew she was watching him… and as much as she wouldn't open up to him at the moment… he knew that she knew exactly what he was thinking.

_He couldn't breathe. He couldn't catch his breath as he paced outside the emergency room with beads of sweat on his forehead. He knew that he needed to calm down. He needed to be strong. Everything was going to be fine, he had to believe that…_

_"Mr. Jerome?" _

_He spun on his heels to find the doctor standing before him, "Yes?" _

_"You can see her now…" _

_Julian didn't want to hear anything more. In fact, his ears wouldn't allow it. He simply began walking. Through the Emergency area until he found her name outside of the cubicle. He slowly pulled back the curtain and found Alexis lying on her side, staring at the monitor beside her bed. _

_"Alexis…" _

_Turning her head, her weary bloodshot eyes met his, "Hi…" She held out her hand to him until he made his way towards her and gripped it as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. _

_"I love you so much…" Those were the only words Julian could get out as he pulled his wife into his embrace and began to cry as she sobbed in his arms. _

_"It's over…" She wailed into his shoulder as her body shook. _

_"Shh… I know… I'm so sorry," Julian soothed, burying his own face into her hair, "I'm so sorry." _

_"Our baby, Julian…" She leaned back to look at him, her breath ragged and labored, "Could have been our little baby boy." _

_"I know, Lexie…" He brushed the hair away from her face, "It just wasn't meant to be…" _

_"I can't…. I can't breathe," She sobbed as he took her in her arms again, "I feel so empty…" _

_"I wish I could do something to make this better…" His attempts at holding back his own tears were failing, "I just don't know how." _

_"Just hold me…" Alexis answered softly as she worked to quiet her sobs, "Please, just hold me. Love me." _

_"I love you more than I could ever say…" _

_"Sam…" Alexis sat back, looking into his eyes in a moment of panic. _

_"She's with Stefan," Julian reassured, "She doesn't know what's going on. Only that you needed to go to the doctor." _

_"She wasn't scared, was she?" _

_"No… she wasn't scared," Julian smiled softly, "She's a tough cookie, our little girl. She just wanted to make sure that the doctor was going to take good care of you." _

_"I love her so much," Alexis wiped her tears as she settled in Julian's embrace, "I don't know… I don't know if I ever properly thanked you…" _

_"For what?" He looked at her curiously. _

_"For Sam." She smiled through her tears, "You gave me the greatest gift… our baby girl." _

_"We gave her to each other," His voice was soft before he leaned in and met their lips, "I love you." _

_Alexis nodded as she snuggled her head into his shoulder. _

Julian turned from where he stood by the elevator, looking towards the waiting area and "his girls"… well, four of them at least. It was every so often that he would think about that night. The terror on Alexis' face as he picked her up in his arms and rushed her into the emergency room. She was terrified, and yet… so strong. It wasn't the same after that… he knew in his heart that they never truly got over that loss.

"Gramma?"

Julian focused on Lila as he heard her soft, sleepy voice. He couldn't hold back his smile as he watched their little girl sit up from where she rested and wrap her arms around her grandmother's neck.

"Hi, sweetheart." Alexis closed her eyes as they embraced, "You should sleep some more… are you uncomfortable?"

"How's mommy?" Lila rubbed her eyes as she looked at her grandmother from where she sat in her lap.

"She's still with the doctor. It might be a while…" She smoothed Lila's dark silky hair away from her face, "Aunt Krissy and Aunt Molly got you hot chocolate… do you want some?"

"Yeah…" Lila's little head nodded as Kristina picked up the cocoa and handed it to her.

Julian leaned against the wall near the elevator, watching from afar. It wasn't that he wasn't welcome with them… it was just that sometimes, he enjoyed just watching. Lila was their little girl… their little surprise angel that brought them all together again… a long time ago. In another place and another time. It didn't start off that way… but it wasn't long before the blessing was just a blessing and no longer in disguise. Lila was a gift… just as her mother had been.

_"What did you just say?" Alexis narrowed her eyes to her daughter as she sat beside her on the sofa. She couldn't have heard her correctly. She watched as Sam glanced behind her to where Jason stood by the sofa, "Samantha. I asked you what you said." _

_"I said…" _

_"You heard what she said, Alexis…" Julian couldn't help but interrupt. He could see by the look on her face that this wasn't going to go well. And hell, he wasn't happy either, but they should have learned by now that this wasn't how they should approach their daughter. _

_Alexis' eyes shot through him like lasers, "I was speaking to your daughter and asking her to repeat what she said, Julian." _

_"I said that I'm pregnant, mom. I'm pregnant, okay?" Sam stood up and began pacing as her emotions were getting the best of her, "I know that I let you down… I know that I'm disappointing you by not going to college and living with Jason and always doing everything that you don't want me to do." She stopped standing before her mother with a tear stained face and a look of determination. A look much like Alexis had seen her father display on many occasions, "I know all of that. But I thought you deserved to know that I'm having a baby. I'm not a child, mother. I'm not sixteen and knocked up, okay?" _

_Alexis felt her breath hitch in her throat at Sam's harsh remarks, "Sam…" _

_"I am twenty years old! I'm an adult!" She cried, "I'm an adult and I'm having a baby with Jason whether you like it or not, okay? Come on, Jason… I need to go…" _

_"Sam…" Julian stood to stop her, but his daughter and her boyfriend were already headed out the door. He watched them leave and drew a deep breath before deciding whether or not to turn around. _

_"Don't even do it…" Alexis' voice was steady and almost sullen from where she sat on the sofa. _

_Julian finally turned around, "Do what?" _

_"Turn around and yell at me for how I reacted, like I know you're going to because I'm always the bad guy. I'm always the one that causes the problem." _

_"Alexis, I'm not going to accuse you of anything…" _

_She met his eyes, finally revealing not anger in her own- but weariness. And shock. _

_"Our baby… is having a baby." She sighed, "With a hit-man." _

_"Alexis…" _

_"It's the truth, Julian." She responded as she hastily stood from the sofa and headed towards the bar, "Just like it's the truth that you're head of a mob family and danger follows you where ever you go… it's my own fault," She shrugged as she held a glass of liquor in front of her, "It's my own fault that my daughter fell in love with a hit-man and is having his baby. Look at the role-model I was for her! The man I picked to father my children is no better. Even though I always did everything I possibly could to keep them safe… everything… it didn't matter." _

_"You've always kept them safe…" Julian approached slowly, knowing if he approached too quickly she would instantly put up a wall. _

_"Not always," Alexis smiled small, a trace of tears in her eyes, "I could never keep all of my children safe…" _

_Julian's heart broke as he looked into her eyes. And there it was again. The look that only he could give. The look that melted her from the inside out and made her want nothing more than to dissolve into his arms and forget about the world. She wanted him… just as she always had. _

_"You know… I'm not too happy about this either. Let us not forget who Jason works for…" Julian raised a brow and she could see that he was indeed stressed out about the prospect of his daughter having Jason Morgan's child. _

_"I thought you were on "good" terms with Sonny, now…" Alexis smirked as she poured him a drink. _

_"Thanks," Julian accepted it, taking the first sip, "I wouldn't say good terms… but I'm tired of this constant war. It gets old after a while." _

_Alexis watched him carefully. She had heard it before. She had heard that line before and she knew that it wouldn't be long before the tables were turned again. All it took was one wrong move from either side and the war for their "territory" was ignited again. But still… still the way that he looked at her, she could see it in his eyes. He could see it, too. As he leaned forward she instinctively closed her eyes but was surprised when the end result was not what she expected. This time, there was no contact. She opened her eyes to find him looking at her nervously. _

_"Alexis…" Julian began, "I… uh, I need to go. The girls will be home soon…" _

_"Yeah…" She nodded as she sipped her drink, "I'll tell them about Sam myself…" _

_"Sure," Julian nodded before walking past her. _

_"Julian?" _

_"Yeah?" He turned as he reached the door, ready to leave. _

_Alexis found herself smiling. Not happily, but gratefully, "Thank you for being here." _

_"Of course." With a nod, he was gone. _

"Julian?" Alexis' voice echoed through the waiting area, finally drawing his attention, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," He smiled before pushing himself away from the wall and walking back towards them to be met by Lila's sweet smile as he peered from over her hot chocolate cup. She reminded him so much of her mother, sitting there with her legs criss-crossed and both hands cradling the cup. "How are you, sweetie?"

"Good," Lila smiled again, her brown eyes sparkling as she handed her grandmother her cup before she got up and came over to sit on her grandfather's lap. First, she gave him a hug, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, angel," He closed his eyes, holding back his tears, "I love you."

"I love you too, grampa," Lila smiled again as they sat together, her grandmother handing her back her hot chocolate. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby…" Alexis smiled, "I think I'm going to go to the nurse's station and see if I can find anything out. Will you be fine here?"

"Yeah," Lila nodded before sipping her drink as she watched her grandmother leave, "Gramma missed you, too."

"Oh, yeah?" Julian raised a brow. He didn't think that Alexis would share such feelings with their eight year old granddaughter, but stranger things had happened.

"Yeah," Lila nodded again before enjoying another sip, "She said that she was happy you were here."

"Well… being happy to see someone doesn't necessarily mean that you've missed them…" He knew he shouldn't get into it but…

"She missed you." Lila stated simply before sipping her drink, "You two always miss each other when you're not around."

Julian kissed her head and held her close. She would never know how right she was.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Glad to see people are enjoying this so far. I'm excited to see where it will go. I'm having so much fun writing this and dreaming up what these characters lives would have been like. **

**As always, thank you for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! ;)**

Chapter Three

_"Where have you been?" Alexis' face appeared in the midst of the small, dark, kitchen of the apartment, "Julian?" _

_Julian turned on the light, "Why are you sitting in the dark?" _

_"I don't know," She shrugged, as she stood and crossed her arms, "Seemed fitting…" _

_"Alexis…" _

_"Answer the question, Julian. Where have you been?" Her eyes were dark and narrow as she stared at him, waiting for an answer. _

_"Out." He shrugged as he hung his coat on the hook and headed to the refrigerator. _

_"Out," She chuckled sarcastically, "Of course, you were just out. Because why would you ever tell me anything more than that? You said you were coming home… you told me that you would be home tonight…" _

_"Something came up, Alexis… you know this is how it works…" He closed the refrigerator and stood to face her. _

_"How "it" works… yes, I'm well versed in the dealings of the mob." She looked upward, "I mean, I am now at least. Since you've decided that the mob is more important than me and your daughter and the mob takes precedence over anything else in your life including our safety." _

_"It's my family's business, Alexis!" Julian felt his temper rising. But it wasn't just his temper… it was his guilt. He knew that she was right, and yet he had this innate desire to defend himself, "You knew that from the beginning! I never hid that from you!" _

_"You never had anything to do with it before!" She threw her hands up, "You swore to me that you would never have anything to do with your family's "Business". What changed? Why is this happening?" _

_"My father… my father is gone… what am I supposed to do? Just let everything go to hell?" _

_"Not everything…" Her voice was quiet as she crossed her arms and stood her ground before him. _

_"I love you and Sam more than anything in the whole world, you know that." Julian inched closer to her, practically begging for contact. _

_"Do I?" She raised a brow, "Because it seems to me the only thing you give a shit about is money and power… that's where it begins and ends with you." _

_"That's not true." _

_"If you cared at all about me you would see how your choices affect my life. My career! Aside from putting us in danger… you're risking my career, here! I'm a lawyer… if anyone found out about your involvement in your family "business" I would be disbarred… I would never find work. And what about your daughter… hmm? She has to go to school with the name Jerome, so what happens when it comes out… gets splattered on the front page that you offed some criminal in a back ally somewhere? You will ruin her life, Julian! You will ruin her life and you'll ruin mine!" _

_"Mom!" _

_They both turned to the threshold between the kitchen and dining room to find a pajama clad Sam standing before them. _

_"Why would you say that to him? He could never ruin our lives!" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. At ten years old, she had heard her parents fight… but never like that. _

_"You need to be in bed, Samantha…. You have school tomorrow…" Alexis headed towards her daughter to usher her out of the room before she snuck past her, eyes on her father. _

_"Why is she saying that, daddy?" _

_Julian could hear the tears in her voice, "Honey, just listen to your mother and go to bed, okay?" _

_"I'm not going to bed until I know what's going on!" _

_"Samantha Kristen… go to your room." Alexis' voice was stern, "I will be in to tuck you in." _

_"Mom! No! I deserve to know!" _

_"Samantha! I'm serious!" Alexis pointed out of the room, "Go to bed!" _

_Sam knew that this wasn't the time to argue any further, so she slowly but surely made her way out of the room, with her mother watching her every step._

_Alexis turned back to Julian as she pulled a paper out of her purse and handed it to him, "Tell me what this is…" _

_"What?" Julian unfolded it, reading, "This isn't over. What he's done will affect all of you." _

_"What the hell does that mean?" _

_"Where did you get this?" _

_"It was slipped under the door this afternoon right after Sam and I got home," She let out a breath, "Someone was watching us, Julian. They were watching us because they knew to slip it under the door a minute after I closed it." _

_"Why didn't you tell me before?" _

_"Because you weren't here!" She exclaimed, leaning forward for emphasis, "I can't do this! I can't protect her, Julian. I don't know how! These are people that I'm not capable of protecting her from. You've created this mess! End it." _

_"I can't…" _

_"What do you mean you can't?" _

_"I can't just end it, Alexis…" Julian sighed as he shook his head, "It doesn't work like that." _

_"Then how does it work, then? Hmmm? Do you have to wait until your daughter or your wife is shot before something will finally be done?" _

_"No… of course not!" Julian rubbed his face with his hands. "It's not going to be forever… when I get control…" _

_"When you get control?" She leaned on the table with her hands, "I don't want you to get control, Julian! That's the last thing that is going to make this better!" _

_"There's always going to be risks…" _

_Alexis eyed him for a moment, "What if I can't take those risks?" _

_"What?" _

_"What if I can't do it anymore?" She looked at him wearily, "I can't walk out the door every morning holding our little girl's hand and wondering whether or not we're going to get shot at today." _

_"I don't want you to do that, either!" _

_"So do something about it!" _

_"I just…" He sighed, meeting eyes with her, he searched. He was looking for what used to be there. The look in her eyes that always reassured him that no matter what, she loved him. Was he panicking… or was it really not there? _

_"Julian… you need to make a choice, here." She lowered her voice, "It's me and your daughter… or the business. That's it. It's as simple as that." _

_"Alexis… you can't do…" _

_"The hell I can't do that!" Her voice grew again, "You've put me in this position… you've put yourself in this position! I've had enough. I will not put my daughter's life at risk every day so that you can fulfill some family legacy! No…. I won't do it." _

_"I can't… I can't just let it go." He locked eyes with her again and this time… there was something there. Emptiness. Sadness. A look of complete heartbreak and he knew in that moment… he did that. He put that look in her eyes just as he had put the one of love so many times before. There was no going back now. _

_"Then you're letting me go." Alexis spoke flatly and softly, "You're letting me and your daughter go." _

_"Alexis… I…" _

_"That's it," She shrugged with an ironic smile, "You just made your choice… I need to go get Sam. My brother's waiting for us." _

_"Where are you going?" Julian stood, watching as she gathered their jackets and her purse, "You already planned on this… you planned on leaving."_

_"Isn't that sad?" She turned back, meeting his eyes with her own weariness, "I knew before this even started what your choice was going to be." _

"Julian?"

When he refocused his eyes, he found Alexis standing before him with a hand full of aluminum wrapped food items.

"What?"

"Did you decide what you want?" She gave him a strange look.

"Huh?"

"A burrito! Do you want one?" She held them out further, "Hurry up, I'm going to end up with third-degree burns on my hands!"

"Oh… sorry… I'm sorry…" Julian shook his head as he accepted one and sat it beside him, watching as she turned and set the remaining three on the table. He looked around and noticed that Molly and Kristina were gone, "Where'd the girls go?"

"For a walk…" Alexis smiled as she brushed her hand along Lila's hair. It wasn't until then that Julian looked down and noticed the little girl was sleeping in his arms, "She looks just like Sam when she's sleeping like that."

"I know…" Julian looked from Lila to Alexis, stopping to observe his former wife carefully. Truthfully, he thought they both looked just like her. Beautiful. "Did you find anything out from the nurses?"

"Uh… no… they said that no news is good news…" Alexis responded as she opened her burrito and took a bite.

"Okay... good…I guess," Julian took a deep breath, "I just don't remember having to wait this long…I guess I've never been in the position of just waiting…"

"I suppose the births in our family are usually a little more eventful," Alexis smirked when she caught his eye, "Do you remember...?"

"When Sam was born?" Julian's face grew into an immediate proud smile, "Of course I do."

"Her head was halfway out by the time the doctor got into the room," Alexis shook her head as she took another bite of the burrito, "Should have known right then… our little peanut wasn't ever going to wait for anyone to tell her what to do…" She caught Julian's eyes on her, a small smile on his face, "What?"

"You called her peanut…" He smiled, "I haven't heard you call her that in a long time…"

"I say it in my head most of the time…" She shrugged, "She's still a peanut."

"She is." Julian nodded, unwrapping his own burrito, but finding it hard to juggle with his granddaughter in his lap.

"Here…" Alexis set her burrito down and reached out to help adjust Lila on the couch in a laying position before she retook her seat on the coffee table in front of them. She reached behind her and grabbed her sweater, covering the lower half of the little girl's slumbering frame.

"You know," Julian smiled as he prepared to take a bite of his meal, but was focused on watching Lila sleep, "I remember when you were in labor with Kristina…"

Alexis' eyes immediately filled with tears at the memory. It was a hard time for them… for all of them. She had so many regrets, the first of many being her resistance to Julian's support.

"Sam refused to go to sleep," Julian shook his head at the memory of their stubborn daughter, "She fought it and fought it until finally she couldn't anymore. I had gotten up for just a second and when I came back… there she was, sound asleep just like Lila is now."

"Like mother, like daughter…" Alexis smiled, smoothing back Lila's hair again.

Julian watched as her smile faded and he knew she must be remembering that day. "Alexis…"

"I've made a lot of poor choices in my life…" She looked back to him and felt the tears sting her eyes, "That day was one of them. You should have been there…"

"You had every right to…"

"I didn't…." Alexis replied, "She's your daughter… and you should have been in there to see her come into this world. I will always regret that."

_"Alexis…" Dr. Meadows had been trying to get her to focus, "Alexis you need to look at me. I need to know what you want… you are getting ready to push. The baby's father is right outside…" _

_Alexis turned her eyes from Dr. Meadows to Ric who stood beside her, holding her hand, "No… I have the only person I need right now. Dr Meadows… just please… please save my baby girl." _


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Alexis had thought about that night so many times. Julian didn't deserve to be kept from his daughter's birth - his daughter's _premature_ birth while another man held her hand and watched his little take her first breath.

"Hi beautiful," Julian's voice sounded.

Alexis was brought back to the present by the arrival of said little girl, hugging her dad with a smile on her face, "Where's your sister?"

"Talking to T.J." Kristina replied as she sat down, gesturing to her sleeping niece, "I thought she wasn't tired anymore."

"I'm not tired…" Lila turned over on her back, rubbing her eyes before opening them to give her aunt a stern look.

"Sorry…" Kristina backed off, chuckling to herself.

They always had a special bond. Julian and Alexis had discussed it many times. They didn't know if it was because Kristina felt a special connection to Lila or if it was simply because they were all so close in age. It was the perfect blend. In many ways, they were like sisters rather than aunts to niece.

_"AHHHHHHH!" _

_Alexis and Julian were standing on the porch when they heard the blood curdling scream coming from inside. They had been gone only a few minutes. When they both rushed inside, they found a two year old Lila standing in the middle of the floor with her fists tensed at her sides and her face beat red with tears streaming down them. Before they knew it, she was drawing a deep breath and shrieked again. _

_"Lila!" Alexis scolded. _

_Julian tried to stifle his chuckle as he watched Alexis approached the obviously distraught young girl. He watched her chest puff again. _

_"Nah-ah!" Alexis quickly covered her mouth as she sat on the sofa and pulled her into her lap, "We don't scream when we are upset… you need to use your words. What in the world is the matter?" _

_"Molly… my… dollayyyy!" The raven-haired toddler wailed. _

_Julian shook his head and took a step towards the hallway before calling to their youngest daughter, "Molllyyyy…." _

_"Okay, baby… shh… calm down," Alexis rocked her in her arms as she stroked her back. Lila had been known to make herself sick from crying… that wasn't something her grandmother wanted to deal with, "I'm sorry that you're upset, angel, but you don't need to scream. You just need to find me and tell me what's wrong." _

_"My…. Dollayyyy," Lila hiccupped._

_"What?" Molly emerged from the hallway to face her father. _

_"Where is Lila's doll?" Julian was trying to keep from laughing, but the precocious 9 year-old's feigned innocence was reminding him more and more of himself, "Molly…" _

_"I don't know," She shrugged as she crossed her arms and glanced over to where her mother was cradling Lila as she cried. _

_Julian watched her roll her eyes, "Molly…" _

_"What? She kept taking out her braids! I told her not to or I was taking it away!" _

_"Molly… you gave her that doll… it's not yours anymore…" _

_"I don't care! She's going to ruin it!" _

_"Ahhh!" Lila spat._

_Alexis looked down startled as the little body in her lap tensed up and leaned outward to confront her aunt. _

_"She ruins all of my toys!" _

_"My DOLLAAAYYYY!" _

_"Lila!" Alexis scolded, "Enough!" _

_Julian watched the interaction before his daughter's tongue caught his attention, "Molly Sofia! Go to your room, get her doll and bring it back to me. Then you can go back to your room and stay there." _

_"What?" _

_"You heard me..." Julian ushered her out, watching as she stomped her way down the hall. He turned back to Alexis and Lila who was watching him curiously, awaiting the arrival of her much missed "dolly". _

_"Grandpa's putting the doll away," Alexis informed the girl who was visibly confused, "You don't scream to get what you want. That's not how it works. Have a seat here by yourself for a few minutes. I'll let you know when you can have it back." _

_Julian accepted the doll as his daughter forcefully placed it in his hands before she stomped back down the hallway and to her room. He could barely contain his laughter once he turned back and found Alexis heading to meet him, rolling her eyes the whole way. He looked down at the doll in his hands, "This thing is ugly." _

_"This is your fault," She grabbed the doll from his hands and quickly shoved it into a cupboard out of reach of both children. _

_"My fault!?" _

_"You spoil them." She turned back, crossing her arms, "Lila knows that you give her whatever she wants whenever she wants." _

_"And what about Molly?" His brow rose in defense, "I just took care of that with a few words!" _

_"I'll give you that much…" She conceded as they both headed towards the door and back onto the porch, not before she took one last glance back to be sure that Lila was going to stay on the sofa, "I swear those two will be the death of me. I never had this problem with the other girls!" _

_"Well… they were equals… Lila is a different story." Julian smirked as he watched Alexis grow defensive. _

_"What do you mean? You think I favor Lila?!" _

_"I didn't say that!" _

_"Well I don't! Of course I don't! I love all of my girls… I would never favor one more than the other!" Alexis was offended, she practically tossed his glass of iced tea back to him, "Why would you say that to me?" _

_"All I'm saying is that you have a soft spot for Lila… she's our first baby's first baby girl… our first granddaughter…" Julian smirked as Alexis glanced past him and into the house where Lila now lay sleeping on the sofa. _

_"Yeah, and she's a spoiled brat thanks to her grandfather," Alexis playfully slapped his arm, but she couldn't suppress her grin, "She's awfully cute, though." _

_"She can't help it… cuteness runs in her family." Julian instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulders and watched as she met his eyes, "Along with beauty and strength and wisdom and ambition and intelligence and beauty…" _

_"You said that already…" She smirked before closing her eyes as his lips met hers. _

_"I did…?" Julian kissed her again, "I must really think you're beautiful…" _

_"Julian…" Alexis voice trailed as he captured her mouth again, each meeting growing longer and more intense, "We shouldn't… we said that we weren't going to..." _

_"I don't care what I said, Alexis," He leaned back, looking into her eyes he saw there what he had seen so many times before when they had been in this situation. Time apart. Time to think and live their separate lives. All it took was one simple meeting. Some stress free time together and… _

_"I can't get pregnant again," Alexis broke into a giggle once they parted and she saw the look on Julian's face._

_"What's that supposed to mean?" _

_"Well, I mean I can….but I really shouldn't…" _

_"Alexis…" Julian warned. _

_"You know what I mean…" Alexis smirked, "this leads to that and then more of that and before you know it… voila, another bouncing baby girl!" _

_"And what's wrong with that?" Julian cocked a brow and Alexis narrowed her eyes. _

_"Stop it." She couldn't help but smile when she saw his as he leaned in to kiss her again. _

_"I love you, Alexis," Julian kissed her again, "I always have and I always, always will." _

_As he peered into her eyes, she said nothing. Just smiled as she studied his face only a few inches away from her own. Another kiss… until the phone rang. As she put it to her ear and listened, the look of panic that washed over her face was unmistakable, "It's Jason." _

Everything changed that night. That one call changed their lives forever and started a ball rolling that to that very day as they sat together, they were still trying to slow down. They had been so happy. He was looking into the eyes of the love of his life, the mother of his children, and once again dreaming of their future. Maybe this would be their chance. Maybe, just maybe, they would have been able to make it that time…

_"Where is she?" Alexis tore off the elevator and towards Jason as soon as she saw him. _

_"She's in surgery…" _

_Julian looked at him and he could see the young man's whole world falling apart. He could see himself in him. He knew the truth… he could have very easily been the same situation and it was pure luck that he never was. But this was his daughter. "In surgery?!" _

_"To… to get the bullet out… to repair…" Jason couldn't finish, he turned away from them, running his hands over his face. _

_"What the hell happened?!" Alexis' voice was rising._

_"We were on the balcony, together… and before I knew it she was just limp… she was limp in my arms." Jason looked between Sam's parents. Little did they know… they were his future in-laws at that moment. The future was looking so bright .things were going to be better… for all of them. "Where's…. where's Lila?" _

_"She's at the house. I called viola… she's there with the girls…" Alexis paused, "Jason… what did they say?" _

_"She's…. she's lost a lot of blood…" _

_Julian watched as tears flooded Jason's eyes. He instinctively wrapped his arm around Alexis' shoulders. "She's going to be all right…She's going to be fine." _

"Hey…" He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look directly into his daughter's eyes, "You okay, dad?"

"Hmm?" Julian smiled as he looked around and found Alexis sitting at the opposite end of the sofa, again with Lila's head in her lap, "Yeah, I'm fine… what time is it?"

"A little after three…" Kristina sighed as she rested back against the chair, she gestured to Molly with a smile, "She's out…"

Julian chuckled at the young girl, laying with one leg propped on the sofa, her head resting against the arm and her mouth wide open, "She looks just like her mother…"

"Very funny…" Alexis rolled her eyes, "When they're passed out in a chair with their mouth hanging open they look like me. How touching."

Kristina laughed, "Come on, mom. You know he thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

It rolled off their daughter's tongue so easily. Had it always been that obvious? He couldn't help it. He couldn't hold it back. It was always Alexis for him… no one else. He just wished every day that he could have given her the life she deserved. Something about their children knowing that… something about the way Kristina said it that gave him a peace of mind. Despite everything that had happened in their life… he wanted nothing more than for his children to know that they were conceived in love.

_"A toast!" Julian held up his freshly poured wine glass to Alexis', "To the best attorney in the world… and the greatest woman I know." _

_"I'll take that," Alexis beamed as they clinked glasses and she sipped the bubbly, "You know… another toast please…" _

_"To what?" Julian smirked as he watched her kick off her heels before they headed towards the sofa. She turned to face him, holding out her glass. _

_"To you! To you and your new life! May it be filled with legitimate success and happiness!" Alexis raised a brow. _

_"I'll drink to that," He nodded before they both took a sip and then a seat on the sofa beside each other, "Where's our daughter?" _

_"With my sister at the movies…" She smiled as she pulled her feet up beside her, tucking them into her side, "She'll be happy to see you when they get back." _

_"I'll be happy to see her… I miss her so much." Julian took a deep breath, "I'm so glad all of this is over… Alexis I can't thank you enough. I just can't. You saved me… you saved my life." _

_"Oh, come on… you were innocent. All I did was prove it." _

_"You've saved me so many times…" His voice was soft as he ran the tip of his finger down her hair, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." _

_"I wouldn't be here, either…if it wasn't for you," She smiled softly, "And Sam… who knows what would have happened if you didn't call, Julian. I thank God every day that you did." _

_"I've hurt you… you and Sam. The last people in this world that I would ever want to feel hurt. And I did that." Julian looked away, "I will never forgive myself for that…" _

_"Do you know what today means?" Alexis brushed her hand along his cheek, "A new beginning, Julian. It's a fresh start. The past doesn't matter… the only thing that matters is that we're here and we've learned from it all. It's brought us to where we are and I like it here, now…" _

_"Yeah… me too…" Julian smiled as he met her eyes and leaned in closer until he could no longer focus on her but only of the feeling of her lips pressed against his. _

_Alexis pulled away for a moment, "I love you… so much." _

_"God, I love you, too…" Julian replied before passionately pressing his lips against hers in a hunger that had been suppressed for longer than he could stand. _

_"Julian…" _

_"What?" He leaned back, meeting her eyes again. _

_"Let's go upstairs…" _

_Julian kissed her again as she gripped his hand. Leaning back, he studied her eyes, "You're sure…" _

_"Can't you tell?" Alexis smiled before kissing him again. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Julian dragged himself back to the present… not feeling it appropriate to explore the memory any further in the presence of his two daughters and granddaughter. That was the night that they made Kristina… their beautiful daughter that had suffered so much struggle in her young life but survived and was now thriving in young adulthood. He was so proud of her.

He was proud of all of his girls. Sometimes it knocked him sideways to look at where his life had ended up. His family was his life. From the very first day that he looked into the eyes of his first born, he knew what was important. Julian would never forgive himself for the choices he made in the past. He cursed the day he ever made Alexis feel as though she was second on his list. She never was. There was no list. In his heart… it was always only her and their children.

_"Julian…. I can't!" Alexis between the sweat and the tears, Julian could barely see her face from behind the wet hair that was plastered to her forehead. _

_"Yes. You can." Julian gripped her hand and kissed her. He kissed her hard and long until they broke away and he looked into her eyes, "You are the strongest person I know. The most beautiful soul and you are going to be the best mother in the world. You just need to do this one part and our baby is going to be here." _

_"It hurts…." Alexis' voice was small as she cried but soon her attention was drawn away by another contraction and the doctor's instruction to push. _

_After all of the talk and the worry, it was like a flash of light and then before he knew it the doctors and nurses were bustling around his wife. _

_"What's going on… what…." Julian was panicking as he looked to Alexis who suddenly leaned back in the bed with all of the tension seeming to leave her body in one swoop before a cry rang through his ears. _

_"It's a girl!" _

_Julian heard the doctors exclaim the words and when he looked up, he saw his petite, black haired baby, red-faced and wailing in front of him, "A girl…" _

_"Oh, my baby!" Alexis cried, smiling through her tears as she watched the nurses quickly cleaning up the baby before placing her on her chest. She looked back up to Julian, "Our baby, Julian. It's our baby girl!" _

_"She is…" He nodded, wiping his own tears from his eyes as he studied the tiny infant that was lying on his wife's chest. He lightly ran his finger over her cheek, "Hi, little girl… I'm your daddy. And this beautiful person here is your mommy…" He looked back to Alexis and kissed her lips softly. _

_"She's… she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen," Alexis marveled at the infant's petite features, gasping as she opened her eyes, "Oh! Hello, Samantha." _

_Julian leaned back to gaze into his wife's face, "Samantha?" _

_"Yeah," Alexis nodded, "You liked that one the best." _

_"Yes, but… you didn't…" _

_"I wanted to wait until I saw her face," She beamed through her ever flowing tears, "Samantha Kristen." _

_"Kristen," Julian brushed his wife's hair away from her face, "After your mother. It's perfect." _

_All she could do was nod before her attention was draw away by the nurse reaching for their baby. _

_"We need to weigh her and get her cleaned up." The kind nurse smiled but Julian watched his wife's face fall. _

_"It's okay…" He smiled when her eyes met his, brushing his hand along her hair, "She'll bring her right back…" _

_"Okay," Alexis nodded before kissing her baby's soft cheek, "Mommy loves you, Samantha." _

_"Samantha," The nurse smiled as she lifted the baby into her arms, "That's a beautiful name." _

_"Thank you," She nodded to the nurse as she watched her carry the baby away she closed her eyes when she felt Julian press a kiss to her forehead. _

_"I love you…" Alexis sniffled, leaning back to look into his eyes and met his lips. _

_"I love you more," Julian replied, kissing her lips again. _

"What?" Alexis' voice sounded in his ears drawing him back from the memory.

As he refocused his eyes he met her glimmering ones, "Hmm?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Alexis raised an amused brow as Julian cleared his throat.

"I was? I wasn't… I mean…" He chuckled to himself, "Just thinking."

"About?"

"You…"

Instead of looking away embarrassingly, Alexis kept her gaze on him with a soft smile on her lips. So much had changed and yet, so much the same. This woman sitting before him always has been and always will be the love of his life. The mother of his children. His everything. He glanced around, noticing the girls were now all asleep. It was just them, with their Lila resting between them. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was just out of an innate need to have contact but Julian found himself reaching out and gripping her hand.

"And when Sam was born…"

"Really?" Alexis smiled, "Me too…"

"Yeah?" He watched as she nodded, "It was a pretty amazing day."

"Well… yes," She agreed, "Once she was out, that was amazing. I don't really know how I feel about before that."

"_You_ were amazing," He shook his head, "We were so young. You were so strong. You still are the strongest person I'll ever know."

"Thank you," Alexis smiled as she met his eyes, "That's what you said to me right before she was born. That's what got me through…"

"No… I think you got yourself through."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without you." She shrugged, "There isn't much in my life that I would have been able to do without you…"

"Nor I without you…"

Alexis looked down where his strong hand rested atop hers and she grasped it before making eye contact again, "I'm… I'm really that glad you're here."

"I'm glad I am too," Julian nodded, a smile curving his lips, "It's moments like these… time with you and our family… that's what my life is about. It means everything to me."

Alexis felt her eyes moisten with tears. She would never tire of hearing that, no matter how infuriating this man was at times… she knew that he loved her and he loved their family. But there was this gap between them. This ever stretching space between the love of their family and Julian's fierce desire to protect them, using any means necessary to destroy the enemy. The ultimatum had been given many times and the choice was always the same.

_Sam could hear her mother's light whispering voice but when she tried to open her eyes they felt like they were glued closed. She had never felt so tired in her life. _

_"This was always my worst fear," Alexis sniffled as she held tight to her daughter's hand, "Maybe you'll never really forgive me for keeping you from your father when you needed him most and maybe you'll never understand my resistance to you and Jason's relationship but i'll be honest, I hope you never have to." _

_She was crying. Sam could hear the congestion and the strain on her voice. She needed to open her eyes and tell her she did forgive her for all of that. She did understand. _

_"All I've ever done is try to protect you…" Alexis cried, bringing Sam's hand to her cheek and holding it tight, "I tried… believe me, I tried. So many times you've hated me for it. You've resisted and felt as if I was suffocating you. And that's all my fault. It is my fault. You didn't choose to be born into this life… I brought you into this world. Into this crazy, dangerous world. Your father and I… we are responsible for anything that's ever happened to you. Including this." _

_Julian stood in the doorway quietly watching as Alexis cried at Sam's bedside. He knew that if she knew that he was there, she would close off. The truth was, he wanted to hear it. It wasn't very often that he knew exactly what she was feeling. _

_"Please, baby girl… I need you to fight with everything that you have to come through this," Alexis kissed her hand, still holding it close, "I need you. I don't know if I could go on without you here. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I may have given you life… but you gave me mine. Your arrival into my world brought me life that I would have never had without you." _

_Julian wiped a tear. He felt the same way. Without Sam… what would they have? They wouldn't have Kristina or Molly or Lila… his life would be meaningless. _

_"Your daughter needs you here. She needs you here to rock her to sleep at night and kiss her little cheek when she's crying or hurt." She swallowed back her tears, "She needs you and only you. You're the only one that can fill that part of her heart. A little girl needs her mother." _

_Julian felt a presence behind him, when he turned he found Jason, "Jason… let's go over here…" He glanced back into the room where Alexis still sat, holding tight to Sam's hand. _

_"You were right…" _

_"Damn-it. I knew it was that son of a bitch," Julian cursed as he balled his fists and paced past Jason. _

_"I don't know what to do…" _

_"No one shoots my daughter and gets away with it, Jason." Julian turned back to the younger man with rage in his eyes, "I'm going to take care of this. It's over." _

_"Julian… you're not involved in the business anymore… you're going to put yourself in danger. Let Sonny…" _

_"I'm not going to let Sonny do a damn thing," Julian gave a whispered below, "I'm going to take care of this. For Sam. I will do whatever I need to, to protect my daughter. She needs to know that." _

_"That's not what she needs." _

_Both men turned swiftly to find Alexis standing just outside Sam's room, her fierce eyes staring them down. _

_"Alexis…" Julian started but she wasn't going to hear it. _

_"No, Julian. What your daughter NEEDS is for you to sit by her bed and tell her how much you love her and you need her to fight through this," Alexis inched closer to him, "She needs to know that you are safe and here to support her." _

_Julian looked away as Jason glanced between them both. _

_"I'm… uh… I'm going to go sit with her…" _

_Alexis watched him leave before turning back to Julian, "Why is this always your answer!?" _

_"It's not always the answer, Alexis." _

_"Do you know why your daughter is lying in that bed fighting for her life?!" She raged, "She's lying in that bed because someone shot her in the back! And still… after everything that's happened, your answer is your gun!?" _

_"Alexis this isn't anything you…" _

_"Don't do that," Her eyes blazed, "Don't you dare do that to me, Julian. I've spent over 15 years dealing with your "answer" and it NEVER turns out the way that you plan it. And you sure as hell can't tell me that this isn't something that I don't understand. I understand it perfectly." _

_"You need to trust me. I know what I'm doing." _

_Alexis softened slightly as she searched his eyes, "That's the scary part. You are fully aware of what you're doing and yet you don't see a problem with it." _

_"Our daughter is in that bed because some psychopathic son of a bitch had a vendetta to fulfill and wanted to get to Jason and Sonny where it hurts the most… he picked our daughter as the sacrifice and I will be damned if I let him get away with it, Alexis." Julian's voice rose, "I'm taking care of this and there is nothing you can do to stop me!" _

_Alexis watched as he left and she felt her stomach tense into knots and a wave of nausea hit her like a boulder. That was it. It was starting again and he was right, there was nothing she could do to stop him. There never was._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Happy Weekend! Here is the next update. Want to thank everyone for their feedback. Reading reviews is what keeps the creative ball rolling. LOL. **

**Chapter Six**

As Kristina opened her eyes, it took her a minute to focus but it didn't take long for her to notice her mother and father sitting on the sofa adjacent from her, with their hands clasped together, looking intently into each others eyes. It seemed as though they had been talking about something serious… or important to them.

"Hey…" Kristina furrowed her brow as they both turned to her.

"Good morning beautiful," Julian smiled, "What's wrong?"

"Noth… nothing…" She couldn't help but look back to her parents hands, "Did something happen?"

"Oh, um…" Alexis looked from their daughter to Julian and then to their hands and quickly released from his grasp, "What? No… we haven't heard anything yet."

"Are you guys okay?"

Julian turned to Alexis, watching as she smiled to their daughter.

"We're fine, honey… just fine," She nodded reassuringly.

"Okay… well… you were…"

"Kristina…" Alexis' warning voice brought a smirk to Julian's lips as he watched their daughter retreat.

Julian's heart broke a little. Kristina had wanted her parents together since the day she was born. It was interesting, of all of their children, he would have expected the antics from Sam, but she was older. She had had her two parents together for a good portion of her childhood and as much as it pained him to admit it, she was probably a little too hurt and angry at both of them to put in any effort to get them back together.

Kristina had always been different. In fact, there was a time when Julian himself thought that Kristina was going to be the one thing to bring them together again. That was, until everything changed… as it always did.

_Julian was surprised when he looked up from his desk and found Alexis standing in the doorway. She was dressed in light blue pantsuit, looking like she had come from work or was heading there, "Hi!" _

_"Hi," She smiled small, "May I come in?" _

_"Of course… come in!" Julian rose from his seat as he watched her enter before looking around, "Is there anything I can get for you? Look… I have a water pitcher… with lemon!" _

_Alexis couldn't help but smile as she watched Julian bustle around his new office. She was happy for him… and his bubbling excitement over being able to offer her water warmed her heart, "Sure… a glass of water would be nice." _

_It had been about two months since his trial and he hadn't wasted any time establishing his life again in Port Charles. He told her he was going to legitimize himself with true business investments and that he did. It was only two weeks before he came to her and showed off the papers for his purchase of The Port Charles Press. Julian didn't know anything about Newspapers except what it felt like to be on the cover of one… but he was determined to learn, to make something of his life… the right way. _

_"Of course," Julian smiled as he poured the glass and handed it to her, "So… to what do I owe the pleasure?" _

_"Um…" Alexis cleared her throat, taking a drink, "How's it going here?" _

_"Oh, uh, great, actually," Julian beamed as he sat atop his desk, "I love it here… I feel like The Port Charles Press was the perfect investment. I might actually get a hang of this journalism thing… maybe I'll be good at it?" _

_"I think you will be great," She watched him with admiration in her eyes, "I'm proud of you. This is… amazing, really." _

_"You like my new life, hmm?" He raised a brow, knowing that his legitimate business investment was the best thing he could have done for her. _

_"Yeah, I …" She paused, nodding her head, "I really do." _

_"So… how are you doing?" Julian pushed himself away from the desk retook his seat behind it, "When I picked Sam up for school this morning she said you were sick." _

_Alexis took another sip of her water, watching as Julian bustled about his desk, shuffling papers, "Um… no… I'm not sick." _

_"Oh," He looked up, puzzled, "Well, when you didn't come down this morning I asked where you were and Sam said you weren't feeling well… is there a reason why you didn't want to see me?" _

_"No," She shook her head and smiled softly, "I, um… wasn't feeling well this morning." _

_Julian furrowed his brow, "Are you feeling all right now? Because, you don't seem to be making much sense." _

_"Julian I need to talk to you about something and… I need you to promise me that you're going to suppress your need to swoop in and save the day." _

_"Alexis, what's wrong? What happened?" He was immediately concerned… why would he need to save the day? _

_"I um… Well, before I forget…" Alexis cleared her throat once again, "Sam's birthday is next week." _

_"I know," Julian smiled. It was his favorite time of the year. _

_"We're having a little party at the house…" _

_Julian watched as she cleared her throat again… what was she nervous about?_

_"I want to make sure that you can be there," Alexis felt her eyes sting with tears, "I know that there is nothing I can do to make up for the birthdays you missed… but I want you there for her, now." _

_"Of course I will," He reassured, "I wouldn't miss it…" _

_"Okay," She nodded, smiling, "Good." _

_"Alexis?" He studied her carefully as she looked back to him and he saw the tears in her eyes, "What do you need to talk to me about?" _

_Turning her head towards the window, she drew a deep breath. Life certainly had a way of tossing you curveballs and she couldn't help but wonder if this was life's way of showing her what she really wants._

_"Alexis… please, I promise to hold back my desire to "save the day" as you say," He shook his head, "I just want to know what's going on. I'm worried." _

_"Okay…" She wiped a tear as she nodded before meeting his eyes._

_Julian watched her intently, waiting for her to finish. _

_"Julian…." She started again, looking down at the glass in her hand, "I'm pregnant." _

_Suddenly his heart jumped into his throat. Pregnant? He had to blink to focus when he saw her look up again, "Wow." _

_"Yeah," She sighed, "Yeah… wow." _

_"How long…?" _

_Alexis looked around nervously revealing a shy smirk as she met his eyes, "Almost eight weeks…" _

_Julian thought back for a moment. Eight weeks. Eight weeks since the he was acquitted… _

_She knew what he was thinking and rolled her eyes, "There hasn't been anyone else, Julian!" _

_"Oh… I, uh…" He stammered, "I know… I mean, I didn't think that…" _

_"Listen," She drew a deep breath, "This isn't like with Sam. I'm not sixteen this time… I'm thirty years old... plenty old enough to raise two children alone. I don't want you to think that you need to take care of me. Things are different now… we have our own lives. I'm comfortable. I have a stable career and substantial income. I can support Sam and this baby by myself. I want you to be a part of its life, I do… I just…." _

_"Alexis," His voice was soft and calm, "I know that you don't need saving. You're the strongest person I know. You are more than capable of raising our children." _

_"Thank you," She paused, "We didn't plan on this… I mean, obviously… we never do," She chuckled nervously, "But I still… I just know that you are starting this new business and everything that's going on in your life… I mean you don't even have an apartment yet!" _

_"I can get an apartment, Alexis." _

_"I know that you can!" She reassured, her voice rising, "I know that you can. I don't doubt your determination or abilities or any of that I…" _

_"Honey…" Julian smirked watching as she rambled, almost to herself without ever making eye contact with him until that moment. _

_Alexis looked up at him and met his eyes. She finally said nothing, waiting for him to continue. _

_"We're having a baby… another baby…" Julian could feel his emotions rising and he watched Alexis do the same as she nodded and smiled through her tears. _

_"Yeah… we are," She watched as he rose from his chair and stepped around the desk, before she knew it, she was being pulled into his arms. She could never grow tired of being in his arms. It was the best feeling in the world…and everything that she needed to feel secure. _

_Julian pulled back and looking into her eyes- there it was. They were connected, mind body and soul… they always had been and he couldn't help but feel as though they always would be._

_Alexis felt all of the tension releasing from her body as his face inched closer and closer to hers until their lips were locked. It was too soon when he pulled away, but once she saw the look in his eyes, it didn't matter. _

_"You know… when you walked in here today I thought to myself, 'Wow… just when I thought she couldn't be any more beautiful.'," Julian smiled before kissing her smiling lips again. _

_"Julian…" She smiled before he kissed her again and they stood, locked in each other's arms. _

_"I look at you, Alexis… and I see my whole world," He ran his hand along her face, "There could never be anyone else but you… I love you more than I…" _

_"I love you, too," She smiled. _

_"You're everything to me. You always have been." Julian watched as her eyes shifted away, he could see the doubt there, "I know that there is nothing I could ever say or do to make up for what I've done in the past but I want you to know…"_

_"Julian, don't…" She placed a finger to his lips. With her other hand she took his and placed it on her stomach, "New beginnings… I told you that night, remember? I guess I was right." _

_"Yeah…" He whispered before kissing her again, "You were right. You're always right."_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**

I just want to take a moment to clear some things up with the story.

I know that the flashbacks are confusing to some, so I will clarify the timeline. The "Flashbacks" follow closely to Alexis' established history on the show, with most of her major life events staying constant with the difference being Julian's involvement in them. Some things are different- there was no marriage of convenience with Jax and no romance with Ned.

In addition to that, I have adjusted the timeline to accurately represent the ages of Alexis' children as they are now. So, Sam was born in 1980, Kristina 1992 and Molly, 1997. More detailed surrounding their births and lives will come to light throughout the flashbacks.

Also, as you've noticed and what might be the source of come confusion is the flashbacks do not go in order. instead, they follow the thoughts of the character in the present time. Creatively, for me, this is what makes sense. I hope everyone can follow along. :)

Here is the next chapter. As always, thank you to everyone who reads and reviews. Always look forward to hearing from you! If there are ever any questions, please feel free to ask them in your review and I will try my best to answer! Enjoy. :)

**Chapter Seven**

"Julian…?" Alexis furrowed her brow as she watched him simply staring in her direction, his face wearing a smile but with a glimpse of sadness.

"Hmm?" He finally looked up.

"You all right?"

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine," Drawing a deep breath he rested his right arm on the back of the sofa before noticing Kristina had fallen back to sleep, "These kids certainly don't have a problem sleeping in strange places."

"Nope," Alexis chuckled but soon grew a little more serious as she looked at him again, "Julian. Where were you a little while ago?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your mind… it was somewhere else," She paused, "I mean, you don't have to tell me… but I just…"

"It's okay," He smiled, "Actually, I was thinking about when you told me you were pregnant with Kristina."

Alexis' eyes softened and a smile graced her face, "Oh."

"You were so nervous acting… I had no idea what was going on with you." Julian chuckled, "When you started clearing your throat I knew it must be serious."

"You know me so well," Alexis rolled her eyes.

"I do," He nodded.

She looked away with a smirk, "You do."

"I know that you love me." Julian smiled.

"Modesty has never been your strong suit." She chided, bringing about a chuckle from them both.

"See… and you know me better than anyone."

"I don't think your lack of modesty has ever been a secret…" She raised a brow.

"Maybe not…"

Alexis felt his hand on her shoulder, bringing her attention to his eyes again. She loved his eyes, "What?"

"Nothing…" He smiled.

She shook her head, looking away as she could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks. It was amazing what one touch from him could do to her. She practically melted and there was nothing she could do to change that. She loved it.

Julian began massaging her shoulders and took pleasure in watching her eyes close in relaxation.

"Julian…"

"What?" He laughed when she opened one eye to glare at him as he massaged around to her shoulder and collarbone, "What?"

"Don't get carried away." She warned before closing her eyes again.

"Oh, will you just relax. We're in the middle of the hospital with two of our daughters sleeping in front of us and our granddaughter sleeping between us. I'm just massaging your neck." He rolled his eyes and continued.

"You know how much I love this…" She smiled, rolling her head back and around her shoulders, "Your hands…"

"Hey…watch it," He smirked, "This is innocent. Now… if we weren't in public with company…"

She turned to him with mischievous eyes, "Then what?"

"I don't know," He shrugged, "That would be up to you."

"You're right," She affirmed, closing her eyes again.

"But I know what you want."

Julian's voice was soft and subtle. There was no push or insensitivity. He simply knew her better than anyone else. At times, better than she knew herself. He knew that she wanted him… she always had and always would. And she knew him too. She knew without looking at him, that he was looking at her. She knew that he longed to talk about more than just the memories of their life and the resemblances of their children. He had been trying for a while.

Alexis wanted to try, she wanted to give in, and yet she couldn't. They had been down the same road so many times. So many times before, she had thought they were going to be happy. That he would put her first in the way that she longed to be. The problem was, he always tried… and it wasn't enough. His fierce protective nature and complete love of her and their children led him to make choices that she didn't agree with. In his way… he _was_ putting her first… but not in the way she wanted. His choices had put them in danger and as much as the events that unfolded weren't always his fault, whether indirect or directly, they were a product of Julian's lifestyle. That would never change. But, neither would her feelings.

_"Happy Birthdayyy, toooo you!" The song echoed through the room as Stefan, Nikolas, Emily, Elizabeth, Lucky, Kristina, Alexis and Julian watched Sam close her eyes tightly as the candles on her cake illuminated her face. _

_"Make a good wish!" Kristina smiled as she snapped a picture of her niece. _

_"I am!" Sam opened one eye before quickly closing it, "I need to concentrate." _

_"This is a big deal_," _Alexis chided with a wide smile as she turned to Julian who stood beside her. Looking into his eyes for a moment, she found herself fighting the urge to kiss him. Not seeing it appropriate in a room full of their daughter's family and friends, instead, she clasped her hand in his. They both turned back to her daughter as applause erupted and the light of the candles was now absent from the room. _

_"My wish!" Sam was staring at her parents wide-eyed. _

_Alexis gave her a concerned look, "What?"_

_ "My wish! My wish already came true!" _

_Their little girl's face lit up and both of her parents were left wondering exactly what that wish was. They looked around the room to the smiling faces surrounding them before taking another good look at themselves. _

_Julian couldn't hold back his smirk, "Alexis…" _

_"What?" She still didn't get it, until suddenly she saw him inch closer until his lips were on hers and the room erupted in cheers and laughter. When they parted, she looked back to the group, her eyes landing on her beaming daughter at the table. _

_"Wow," Sam's eyes widened, "I guess birthday wishes really do come true sometimes!"_

_Alexis made her way to her daughter, caressing her hair and kissing her head before the petite twelve year old stood on the chair and hugged her mother tightly, "Happy birthday, my sweet baby girl." _

_"I'm not a baby anymore… but thanks, mommy," Sam was smiling when she pulled away and her mother placed a kiss to her nose, "I wished for you and daddy to be together again." _

_"You did, huh?" her mother raised a brow as they both glanced to Julian standing behind her, "Well, we have a lot we need to talk to you about, but right now just enjoy your party, okay?" _

_"Okay…?" Sam gave them a strange look. _

_"It's all good things, peanut," Julian reassured, leaning close to kiss her forehead, "Come on, you have to cut the cake!" _

Their daughter's twelfth birthday had been so perfect. They were both there together with their closest family and Sam's closest friends. They made their little girls birthday wish come true. And not soon after that they were going to tell her more good news, she was going to be a big sister. It felt so right.

_"Okay, I'm going to head out!" Kristina's voice rang out as she bounced back into the room._

_Alexis glanced to her sister from where she gathered the rest of Sam's gifts and was piling them on the table, "Thank you for everything today." _

_"Of course!" Kristina reassured as she embraced her older sister, "Anything for you and my little favorite little niece." _

_Alexis raised a brow as they parted and took a deep breath. _

_"Hey!" Sam's voice rang through the room as she reentered with popcorn and her father trailing behind her with drinks, "I heard that and might I remind you I'm your only little niece." _

_"I know," Kristina smiled before kissing Sam's head, "and I love it." _

_"I love it too, Auntie," Sam smiled. _

_Julian and Alexis exchanged glances. Maybe this announcement wasn't going to go over as well as they anticipated. _

_Kristina's eyes landed on Julian and it wasn't long before she had her arms wrapped around him, "I'm glad you're here." _

_"Thanks, Kristina," He smiled as they parted, "Me too." _

_"Okay," She nodded as she grabbed her bag from the table, "I'm going out with Ned. I'll see you all later!" _

_"Okay, bye!" Alexis waved, watching her sister leave before turning back to her daughter and Julian, "Popcorn!" _

_"Yep! To go with Monopoly. And then a movie!" _

_"Mmm, perfect!" Alexis smiled as she grabbed a handful of her favorite treat, "What movie are we watching?" _

_"Annie." Sam stated firmly as she walked to the sofa. _

_Julian rolled his eyes, "Why am I not surprised?" _

_"It's my birthday and Annie is my favorite movie." Their little girl shrugged. _

_"You're right, it is your birthday," Alexis smiled as she and Julian joined their daughter on the sofa. She watched him carefully as he set the drinks on the coffee table and they both turned to Sam, "Um… honey… you're father and I have some things that we need to talk to you about." _

_"I know," Sam smiled between them, prompting confused looks from both before their attention was drawn to the open door and Kristina reappearing. _

_"Oh… um… I'm sorry… I don't mean to interrupt." _

_"No, honey, you're not," Alexis shook her head, "What's the matter." _

_"My car is dead." Kristina sighed, watching as Julian rose from his seat, reaching in his pocket before holding out his keys. _

_"Take mine," He smiled. _

_"Are you sure?" _

_Sam's face lit up as she turned to her aunt, "Dad has a convertible, now! It has a remote to unlock the doors!" _

_"Oh, fancy!" Kristina chuckled when she saw her sister's eyes roll as she accepted the keys, "Thank you!" _

_"My pleasure. It's a beautiful night. Enjoy it!" Her former brother-in-law smiled again. _

_"I sure will! See you guys later!" _

_Sam and Alexis both waved, "Bye, Love you!" _

_Upon hearing a replied "Love you, too" from the hall, they both smiled as Julian rejoined them on the sofa. _

_"So," Julian cleared his throat, looking intently at his daughter, "How do you know what your mother and I are going to talk to you about?" _

_"I saw you kiss!" Sam laughed, "Obviously, you're back together again. Are you moving in, Dad? Or are we going to get a new house?" _

_"Um," Alexis cleared her throat, exchanging a glance with a smirking Julian, "Honey… that's not exactly what we needed to talk to you about. Your father and I are working on things between us." _

_"But you're going to get back together…" _

_"Probably" and "We're going to try." were spoken simultaneously by Julian and Alexis respectively._

_"But… Sam… honey," Her mother started as she caressed her hair, "We have something else we need to tell you…Your father and I-" _

_The loud noise and shaking of the apartment stopped Alexis in her tracks, her eyes widening from her head as she looked to Julian for reassurance. _

_"What…" She stopped when he shook his head. _

_"I don't know… I'll go check it out…" Julian got up and headed to the door while Alexis rose to look out the window. _

_"Oh my God! Julian, It's your car!" She turned back to him, her face white as a ghost, "Kristina." _


	8. Chapter 8

Here's the next chapter. If you're reading, please don't forget to leave a review. In order to keep this story moving, I need inspiration from my readers. Thank you!

**Chapter Eight**

Julian's attention was drawn to a sharp kick in his side. He turned, finding Lila stirring in her sleep, snuggling her head further into Alexis' lap as if it was indeed her own personal pillow. He smiled as Alexis instinctively smoothed the dark strands of hair out of the slumbering girl's face and Lila drew a deep sleepy breath, grasping her grandmother's hand.

"I get a kick in the ribs… you get a nice hand held snuggle," Julian shook his head.

Alexis' eyes danced as she brought Lila's hand to her lips, "She kicked you because she loves you."

"Kicking _would_ be a term of endearment for one of our offspring…" He chided.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying… neither of us has ever been that great at expressing how we really feel. It's easier to do the opposite."

Alexis met his eyes and knew that he was waiting for a response. This was a conversation he would love to strike up right at that moment when they were stuck in the waiting room together, without a way out. Unfortunately for him, she didn't feel that urge. Instead, she broke their gaze looking back down at the little head in her lap.

"She looks so much like her mother."

"And you," He added.

Alexis looked up, noticing the way he was admiring their sleeping granddaughter before looking up to meet her eyes.

"Look around this room, Alexis," He smiled, "All of our girls are little carbon copies of you right down to the way they sleep on a sofa…"

Julian watched her chuckle as she turned and looked again at Molly, still sprawled on the sofa with her mouth wide open. He raised a brow when she turned back to him, her eyes gleaming.

"It's funny… I look at them every day and all I see is you," She looked down again, wiping one tear from her cheek as casually as possible.

"Well, I…uh…I guess that's what love is…" He looked away nervously, only looking back when he was sure her eyes were on him, "Seeing your love in your children. I mean, that's why they're here…"

"Yeah," She nodded, "Certainly is."

"I do… Alexis… I hope…" He stopped short when Lila sat up rubbing her eyes and looking between them.

"Hi, baby…" Alexis smiled as the little girl climbed further into her lap and wrapped her arms around her. She not only looked like her mother, but she acted like her too- never wanting to wake up.

Lila yawned as she wrapped her arms around her grandmother's waist and closed her eyes again, "Gramma…?"

"Yes, baby."

She yawned again, "I drooled on your pants a little."

"Oh," Alexis laughed, hugging the little girl close, "That's okay, my love. You can drool on my pants anytime."

Julian watched lovingly as Alexis kissed their granddaughter's head. Lila was slowly but surely waking up but he couldn't help but dread the attitude that they were sure to get later on that day. The girl needed her beauty sleep… another trait she inherited from her mother and grandmother.

"How's mommy?" Lila's eyes were wide open darting between her grandparents.

"She's fine," Julian smiled, prompting a surprised but admiring glance from Alexis, "I'm sure your dad will be out any minute with exciting news."

"Are you sure?" The little girl's voice waivered.

"Lila," Julian leaned in close, caressing the little girl's cheek with his thumb, "Your mommy is going to be just fine. She's a very strong woman."

"Kay…" Lila nodded before rested her head against her grandmother's chest, "How come having a baby takes so long?"

"Well…" Alexis sighed, "It's just one of those things that… we have no control over. It's all up to mother nature."

Sitting up, the little girl gave her grandmother a strange look, "Mother nature?! What?"

"God," Julian interjected, drawing both Lila and Alexis' eyes, "It's up to God. That's what Mother Nature means."

"God is a mother?" Lila cocked a brow.

"Yes," Her grandmother interjected quickly, cutting off Julian's attempt at an answer, "Yes. God is a mother."

"Oh."

Julian smirked at Lila's obvious satisfaction with her grandmother's answer. He couldn't help but feel a sense of home with the exchange. This was familiar to him. This was his life.

"Did it take this long when I was born?"

"Uh… no…" Alexis looked back up to Julian, "No, it didn't take this long."

_"Alexis," Julian burst through the door where Alexis sat beside Kristina's bed, holding their ailing but sleeping daughter's hand. They had been on the search for a bone marrow donor for weeks and they were running out of time. _

_"What?" Alexis looked up suddenly and registered Julian's ashen face, "What's wrong?" _

_"It's Sam… Alexis…" _

_"Oh, no… Oh, God…no," Alexis stood; leaving their resting daughter as she practically ran out of the room with Julian on her heels. _

_It felt as if they were running through a never ending tunnel down the hall of the maternity ward until they finally reached the large cubicle where Sam had been staying since she had been diagnosed with placenta previa almost a week prior. Only, when they arrived, the room was empty. _

_"Where is she, Julian?!" Alexis turned back to him, her eyes were drawn and weary. She was exhausted and he was worried there wasn't much more she could take. _

_"I don't know… they…" _

_"Mr. and Mrs. Jerome?" A nurse's voice requested their attention._

_They both turned on their heels, ignoring the incorrect salutation. _

_"Yes?" Alexis replied. _

_"Your daughter is in surgery," The nurse began, "She began hemorrhaging and the baby was in distress." _

_Alexis gripped Julian's hand and all but collapsed into his arms for support. _

_"We will give you an update as soon as we have any new information." _

_"Julian," Alexis turned back to him as the nurse left. She simply fell into his arms in tears._

_"It's going to be okay… it'll be all right." Julian kissed the top of her head as he held her close, "Our girls are strong. All three of them. They are going to be just fine."_

"Gramma?" Lila looked at Alexis curiously, noting the distance in her eyes as she finally focused back to her.

"What honey?"

"So, was I?"

Julian looked between Alexis and Lila, "Um… were you what?"

"Was I born at nighttime?" She was getting annoyed. How could she be sitting with her grandparents on the same sofa and have not either of them be listening.

"Oh, um…" Julian looked nervously at his watch.

"You were born at night," Her grandmother finally answered, followed by a soft kiss to her temple before she began playing with the petite girl's hair.

"Did you have to stay up late to wait for me, too?" She tilted her head, watching as her grandmother looked away.

Julian and Alexis exchanged glances and both new they were thinking the same thing. They both wondered how Lila had made it to age eight without hearing the story of her birth and the circumstances surrounding it. In many ways, it was a time they all would like to forget, filled with worry and heartache. But at the end of that seemingly endless tunnel was a beautiful baby girl that didn't just save one, but all of them.

_Julian watched her as she paced the floor. Upon hearing Sam was in surgery, Alexis called on Ric to sit with Kristina and make sure that she was okay. He was under strict instruction to keep any information about the young girl's sister to himself- she didn't need to worry. _

_So many thoughts were swarming through both of their heads. They were terrified for Sam… they knew that hemorrhage was a possibility but the doctors had expressed their concern and the severity of that condition. If they didn't keep Sam's blood loss under control… she could die. It was as simple as that. _

_And then there was the issue of the baby's stem cells. They didn't think that the timing would work out… Sam wasn't due for another two weeks, but now… now there was a possibility that the stem cells from Sam's daughter's umbilical cord could save her aunt's life. _

_But now they were just left to worry. They worried for Sam, for Kristina… and for the new little baby girl that was struggling to make her entrance into the world and especially into their complicated yet fiercely loving family. _

_Julian stood outside of the operating area's door and continued to watch Alexis pace until the door opened and a doctor appeared. _

_"Mr. Jerome?" _

_"Yes…" _

_Alexis was at his side in a second, "How is she? Is our daughter okay?" _

_"She did lose a lot of blood. More than we would have liked. We're giving her a transfusion now, while she's in recovery." _

_Alexis felt Julian relax, but she gripped his hand tighter, "The baby…" _

_"She's beautiful and healthy," The doctor smiled._

_"Oh thank God," Alexis turned with a smile and embraced Julian tightly before they pulled away and refocused on the doctor. _

_"They are harvesting the stem cells as we speak and your younger daughter's doctor will be coming to discuss her procedure once all of those tests have been completed." _

_"She's going to save Kristina…" Alexis cried as she turned, looking into Julian's equally teary eyes as he nodded. _

_"Yeah… she sure is." They both paused for a moment, still holding tight to the others hand before the doctor spoke again._

_"The baby is in the nursery with her father. I can take you there." _

_"Please," Alexis smiled brightly and they followed the doctor as she led them down the hall and to the nursery. It was much larger than she remembered and her eyes anxiously searched the bassinets, some empty, some with slumbering newborns. She wasn't sure exactly what she was looking for but something in her new that she would know when she saw her. _

_While Alexis stayed behind, peering into the window, Julian followed the doctor to the door where she opened it and on the other side was Jason, cradling a bundle with a pink hat. _

_"Ale…. Alexis…" Julian could barely whisper as he inched closer to the pair._

_"What…" As she turned, her own breath was taken when she spotted them, "Oh my God… Jason…" _

_"Here's our baby girl…" Jason could barely contain his emotions, "This is Lila." _

_"Lila…" Tears streamed down Alexis' face as she approached Jason and the baby and held out her arms to which Jason gladly obliged, transferring the baby into her embrace. Alexis marveled, "Hello, my sweet baby girl." _

_"Jason…" Julian shook his head in disbelief and wiped a tear, "She's beautiful. She's so beautiful." _

_"I know," Jason nodded before looking between them, "They're, uh… they're harvesting the stem cells." _

_"We know…" Alexis looked up at him, as if there could be any more tears, another dam opening up flooding her eyes as she turned back to the baby girl in her arms, "My beautiful baby Lila… you're going to save your aunt's life, do you know that? What a miracle. You're our little angel." _

"I knew that," Lila smiled to her grandparents.

Julian raised a brow, "You knew what?"

"I knew that I saved aunt Krissy! Mommy told me all about it." Lila gleamed, "I just didn't know what time I was born."

"Oh…." Alexis chuckled before kissing the little girl's soft brown hair, "Well, now you know."

A throat clearing drew everyone's attention to Jason standing before them. It seems like slow motion as Julian tried to search his face for a sign of emotion before he would open his mouth to speak. He felt Alexis grip his hand a little tighter as they continued to sit side by side, both looking up to Jason for answers.

"It's a boy!" Jason beamed as he stood before them, wringing his hands together.

"Oh, a boy!" Alexis exclaimed and Kristina and Molly woke up with a start.

"Daddy!?" Lila looked at her father with wide eyes before running towards his open arms.

"Lila girl!" Jason smiled as he lifted her, "You have a baby brother!"

"A brother!?" Lila grinned before wrapping her arms around her father's neck, "I wanted a brother!"

"A boy…" Alexis turned to Julian from where they stood and realized they were still holding hands. She gripped it a little tighter, "We have a little boy, Julian."

"Yeah…" He nodded and suddenly was overcome with emotion as he watched her eyes fill with tears. Julian could do nothing else but pull her into his arms and hug her tightly, "I love you."

Alexis heard him whisper and the tears flowed freely. She pulled away and meeting his eyes, she simply nodded.

"I have a baby brother!" Lila squealed, bringing everyone's attention to her beaming little face.

"You do!" Alexis cooed as she leaned over and place a soft kiss on the little girl's head, "You're going to be a great big sister. I love you so much."

"I love you, too" Lila smiled as she continued to keep her little arms wrapped firmly around her father's neck.

"Jason," Julian started, drawing his son-in-law's attention, "How is Sam?"

"Can we see them?"

Julian could tell Alexis was anxious… he was too.

"Sam is doing okay…" Jason nodded, "She did lose more blood than they had hoped but they are giving her some so she's perking up."

"Can we see them?!" Alexis was practically pleading and Julian responded instinctively by wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"You can…" Jason smiled, "I want to just have a minute with Lila before we go in. Sam asked me to send both of you in."

"Oh," Alexis gushed before looking around to her other daughters, "What about the girls…"

"It's okay, mom," Kristina smiled brightly, "You two go ahead and meet your grandson… we'll come in a little while. We have some calls to make."

"Okay…" Their mother smiled before turning back to Julian, "Ready?"

Giving an affirming nod, he smiled, "Ready."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"I feel bad I didn't even get anything from the gift shop!" Alexis was carefully searching every name plate for their daughter's inscription.

"It's almost 4:00 in the morning… I think the gift shop is closed." Julian chuckled.

"I should have been prepared… I just didn't know what to get. Without knowing the gender, what was I supposed to do get a neutral teddy bear? I want to do something more special than that...something personal. Flowers wouldn't be enough so I wasn't even going to bother with that. You know, I think I'll just skip the gift shop all together and stop at the mall later. I can probably order something silver with an engraving…"

"Honey…" He smirked. Alexis was still rambling. And Julian loved it. She was nervous. Nervous to meet the newest member of their family and it was adorable. He had stopped when he saw Sam's name, "Alexis. Right here."

"Ready?" Julian looked back and smiled to Alexis, prompting her to nod before he pushed open the door. He felt her grip his hand and heard the gasp as they entered the room and met Sam's smiling face where she held the swaddled new baby boy in her arms.

"Hi," Sam smiled as she greeted her parents, looking between them her smile broadened when she noticed their linked hands.

"My sweetheart," Alexis smiled through her tears as she let go of Julian's hand and approached the bed, "Oh, my… look at this handsome boy."

"Oh, honey," Julian started, meeting his daughter's eyes, "He's perfect."

"Yeah…he is," Sam smiled with a nod, "This is Daniel… "

"Oh, hello little Daniel," Alexis brushed her hand along the baby's cheek, watching as he opened his eyes.

Sam looked between them again as they studied her newborn son, "Daniel Julian Morgan."

"What?" Julian's eyes widened as he looked back to his daughter, "Sam…"

"It's perfect. Now I have a little girl and a little boy named after both of my parents." Sam smiled as her father leaned towards her and placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"You will never know how much that means to me…" Julian sniffled as he leaned back and looked into her eyes once more before she held Daniel towards him and he gladly accepted the small bundle, "Hi, there little man."

Alexis watched with the most loving smile as he took a seat on the edge of their daughter's bed and held the little boy in front of him.

"I'm your grandpa," Julian smiled, "I know…I know… I look much too young and handsome to be your grandpa but what can I say…"

"Oh, boy," Alexis rolled her eyes before turning and wrapping her arms around her daughter. She whispered in her ear, "Congratulations, peanut. You just gave your father the greatest gift. I love you."

"I love you too, mom," Sam smiled as her mother pulled away and she saw the tears flowing to her cheeks.

Alexis cupped her daughter's cheek with her hand before turning back to Julian whose watery eyes met hers. She watched as he tilted the baby to face her.

"And this beautiful lady here is your grandmother… and you thought _I_ was too young and good looking…" Julian winked to her as she took a seat and held out her arms.

"Your grandpa sure is a charmer…" Alexis rolled her eyes as he carefully placed the baby in her arms, "My darling little boy, hello! Look at you!"

Julian smiled as he watched her practically melt at the sight of their new grandson, "Oh, it's all over now…"

"My goodness, look at that little nose," She cooed, running her finger lightly over it before looking up to Sam and Julian, "That's your nose."

"The Jerome nose," Sam chuckled, grasping her father's hand.

"Yes," Alexis smiled, looking down to meet a pair of eyes peering up at her, "Well, good morning! You might have the Jerome nose but you have your father's eyes, don't you."

"Yes, he does," Sam smiled, "Besides the nose, I think he looks just like his daddy."

Just then, they all turned to the opening door with Lila entering the room and Jason following close behind. The little girl's eyes were wide with excitement as she slowly and carefully approached the bed.

"There's my Lila-bean," Sam smiled, holding out her arms as her father carefully lifted Lila onto the bed before getting up to make room for the pair. Sam kissed her daughter's head, "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, mommy," Lila hugged her for a moment but was distracted by the bundle that her grandmother held beside them, "My brother."

"Yes, angel," Alexis watching lovingly as Sam kissed her daughter's cheek and hugged her close

"Lila Alexandra, I'd like you to meet your little brother, Daniel Julian." Sam announced, catching her father swift wipe of his cheek from the corner of her eye.

"Hi, Daniel," Lila cooed, casting her eyes to her grandmother for reassurance.

Alexis nodded before rising from her seat, "Come, sit next to mommy and you can hold him."

"Okay," The little girl quickly repositioned herself at her mother's side and held out her arms. She watched as her grandmother kissed the baby before placing him in her waiting arms. She beamed, "Hey, little brother."

Sam smiled up at Jason, from where he sat on the other side of the bed, and took his hand. As she looked back to her two children sitting beside her, she could blurrily see the figure of her parents standing side by side in front of them and if she didn't know better, it looked as if their hands were linked.

"Daddy," Lila turned to her father, "He looks like you!"

"Yeah?" Jason smiled, "Well that works out perfect then, huh, because you look just like your mom."

"Yeah," she nodded, turning back to her little brother, "I'm gonna call you Danny, okay?"

"I think that's a great idea," Sam praised choking back her tears at her daughter's choice of nicknames. Caressing her little girl's hair, she marveled at the bond her two beautiful children were already building.

Julian felt Alexis grip his hand a little tighter before he felt her head rest on his shoulder. Without thinking, he simply kissed it softly before whispering to her, "Let's give them some time alone."

"Good idea," She lifted her head before turning back to meet her daughter's gleaming eyes, "We're going to go get your sisters, is that all right?"

"Please!" Sam smiled brightly, "Get ready, Daniel… you're about to get the full Davis girls effect!"

Julian chuckled as he held the door for Alexis allowing her to exit in front of him and then following her into the hallway. He closed the door softly, turning back to find her looking at him with misty eyes.

"Wow," She choked out before the tears spilled to her cheeks, but her smile never wavered.

"Yeah," Julian nodded, taking a few steps to meet her, taking her hand again.

"I don't think that will ever get old," She shook her head and wiped her tears, "Isn't it amazing, Julian? Our family is amazing…"

"Sometimes I can't even believe it," He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, "We did one thing right… bringing those girls into the world."

"We did," Alexis nodded breaking her hand away from his as she turned, leaning against the railed wall and then looked back to him, "Thank you."

"For what?" He took a few steps closer until he was leaning on the rail beside her.

"For this… for all of this," She shook her head and wiped another tear, "I don't tell you enough… how grateful I am that you are in my life. Without you... I would have nothing."

Julian felt the tears in his eyes and he could do nothing else but follow his instincts and lean in close until his lips met their destination. This was home. It had been so long since they had shared in this kind of intimacy… she had been so guarded for so long and in that moment she surrendered. She wasn't holding back and Julian couldn't get enough.

"Julian…" Alexis broke away for a moment, fighting to catch her breath as she brought her hand up to cup his jaw.

"I know," He nodded before she closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his again. The hand that was once on his face was now gripping the nape of his neck as he slid his own through her hair, "Alexis..."

When he pulled away she leaned back into view of his smirking swollen lips, she couldn't help but smile herself as she ran her thumb over them in an effort to wipe the shiny gloss that she had unknowingly shared. "You look good in lip gloss."

"In _your _lip gloss…" Julian smiled as he marveled in her eyes, "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Oh, stop…" She blushed, "I've been up for almost 24 hours straight…"

"You are, though, Alexis," He shook his head, "You have no idea."

"Isn't it better that way?" She raised a brow, "You wouldn't be able to tell me if I already knew…"

"I want to tell you," Julian smiled as he ran a hand down her face and leaned closer, "I want to tell you every day."

Alexis studied his eyes, his face, and his lips as they narrowed in on hers and soon the focus was gone. She was no longer thinking any rational thoughts… all she could do was _feel._ The pressure of his body as he shifted, pushing her slightly against the wall. The feeling of his breath on her face as they devoured each other's mouths in an impassioned frenzy. It wasn't until he broke away from the kiss and worked his way down her neck that she remembered where they were.

"Julian…" She sighed, unable to find the strength to stop him, "God, Julian…"

"I know," He croaked before their lips met again, only this time it was short before Alexis finally was able to pull away while she struggled to regain composure, staring intently into his eyes, she smiled, giving his lips one last peck.

Julian watched her eyes glisten, "I love you… you know that."

"We need to talk," She paused, clearing her throat, "Before… we do anything else."

"Okay," He nodded, drawing a cleansing breath before once more Alexis' mouth enclosed on his.

They could hear giggling in the distance but they both needed that one last moment of contact before..

"Oh, there you…" Kristina and Molly stopped short when they saw that it wasn't just their dad standing there, but their mother was basically pinned between him and the wall, "Whoa."

Alexis quickly backed away, clearing her throat and trying to hide the grin that was inevitably going to appear, "Girls."

"Yes, mom, hello," Kristina smiled as she inched closer to them and saw her father run a hand over his face, "Are you sure that is appropriate behavior for a hospital hallway?"

"Kristina," Alexis warned as her eyes darted to her beaming youngest daughter, "And what are you smiling about?"

"Nothing," Molly shrugged, "It's just that… I like it when I see you two happy together."

"Molly… we weren't…" Alexis started, but stopped when she saw Julian turn back to look at her, "Listen, we were just coming to get you!"

"Oh, really?" Kristina chided, "And how long were we supposed to wait for that…?"

"Kristina!" Alexis gave an exasperated sigh, "Sam is excited to see you both. Her room is right there… go on… go meet your nephew."

"Okay," Kristina smiled as Molly bustled away and into the room while she stayed behind for a moment, "Where are you going?"

"Don't worry about it," She answered plainly, "Will you do me a favor and ask Sam if there is anything she would like me to get for her? And will you text it to me?"

"Sure, mom…" Her daughter gave a genuine smile before turning and heading into her sister's room.

Upon their daughter's departure, Alexis turned to meet Julian's smirking face, "Your fault. Always your fault. We will never live this one down."

"This was not my fault," He shook his head as his hands rested on his hips. He watched as she tried to remain stoic but her blushing smile won out. He stepped closer to her, "You weren't exactly unwilling."

"Yeah, well…" She chuckled, "I guess we're lucky they didn't show up a few minutes before."

"Or a few minutes later…" He smiled slyly as he slid his hands around her waist.

Alexis looked up to him, resting her hand on his arm, "Wanna take a walk?"

"Sure," He nodded before kissing her forehead and shifted his arm to envelop her shoulders, "Let's walk."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Alexis rested her head against the back of the chair beside Sam's bed as she watched her daughter sleep. It was just the two of them… well, the three of them with little Daniel slumbering in his bassinette. After one too many bouts of attitude from Lila, Jason and Sam decided it best for Monica to take her home with her for the rest of the afternoon for a much needed rest and some one-on-one time with her grandmother. Meanwhile, Jason was going to stop at the penthouse for a shower, while Julian was picking up some dinner.

Julian. Alexis sighed when she thought about what had transpired earlier that morning. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, mixed with the joy of the new addition to their family… but it certainly was something. It was more than just a kiss… it always was with them. Sometimes she wished it wasn't. The attraction was real and if it was just physical, she always thought maybe it would be easier that way. Or maybe not.

Alexis had to make a choice years ago, but in fact there was no choice at all. She had to keep her children safe. There was no question about it. Julian's life was dangerous to so many… she never wanted to see her children suffer for their parents mistakes the way her sister Kristina had. And she had never wanted to see any of them hurt the way she saw Sam hurt that night.

_Sam sat in the waiting area next to Nikolas. Her birthday went from amazing to the worst day ever in one second flat. The explosion sounded and the house shook and she knew from that moment on, nothing would be the same again. _

_"Sam… do you want some water?" Nikolas watched her shake her head, "Are you sure?" _

_"Yes!" She snapped to him, "I don't need any water!" _

_"I'm sorry…" _

_"I want to see my mom." Sam sighed, hugging her legs to her chest, "I want to see Aunt Kristina." _

_"They're taking care of her…" Nikolas reassured as he turned to face his cousin. He was worried, too, but being a little older he felt the need to protect her, "She'll be okay." _

_Alexis stood outside her sister's room, watching through the window as Ned brushed her soft red hair away from her bruised, battered, and burned face. She couldn't feel anything. The flurry of emotions running through her brain were too much for her to process and were doing nothing but making her numb. _

_"Alexis," Stefan's soft voice and the feeling of his hand on her shoulder was almost too much comfort to handle. She realized in that moment… she didn't want to feel. The numbness was comforting. It was safe. _

_"Ned… is in there…" Her voice was low, steady, and monotone. _

_"I know…" Stefan drew a deep breath, "Alexis, you should be in there with her… we both should." _

_"No… stop it," She tensed her eyes closed as if to will his words away._

_"Alexis…come," Stefan guided her back into the room where and Ned stepped away from the bed, allowing Alexis to sit beside the bed. It took her a moment and a few deep breaths before she was able to sit beside her sister and grasp her hand._

_"Kristina…" Alexis forced a smile as her young sister's eyes rested on hers. She could tell she was trying to speak, "Shh… shh… don't speak. Save your energy." She held her sisters hand, brushing the other through her soft red hair, "My beautiful baby sister… I'm so sorry this happened to you, Kristina… I'm so sorry. I always told you that I would protect you and now…" _

_Stefan's hand on her back prompted her to trail off. She didn't want to rehash the truths of this accident, but she couldn't suppress her guilt. She couldn't help but feel as though this was all her fault. If Julian had stayed out of her life, none of this would have happened. _

_"I have something I need to tell you…" Alexis choked back her tears in a whisper as she leaned in close to her, watching as her sister's eyes grew heavy and she struggled to keep her focus, "Kristina…I'm pregnant…" _

_Kristina's eyes filled with tears and she gripped her sister's hand a little tighter as Alexis brought it to her lips for a soft kiss. _

_"And I'm naming this baby after you… even if it's a boy," She smiled, "You are so strong… so loving. And you've changed my life in more ways than you could ever know. You've made me a better person, Kristina. And when you get better… when you're all healed and strong again… We can do yoga together. I've read that it's good for the baby…but I'm sure you know that already." _

_Kristina nodded and her sister kissed her hand again. Stefan watched as Ned slowly exited the room, he focused back on his two sisters. _

_"You know, you taught me how to be a mother," Alexis cleared her throat, "You were the very first thing in my life that I felt responsible for. I loved you and felt the need to protect you since the day you were born. But, Kristina…" tears began to overtake her face and tense her voice, "I failed you so many times and for that I'm so sorry. I've never been able to protect you the way I promised. I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…" _

_Stefan rubbed circles in his sister's back as she buried her head beside Kristina and cried. It took him a moment, but he soon realized that Kristina's eyes were no longer open and the sound of the monitor blaring in the room caused Alexis to sit up suddenly, "Alexis…" _

_"No… God, no! Stefan get help," Alexis panicked, "Kristina…. Kristina please… wake up, Kristina. Kristina!" _

_Alexis turned to find nurses, including Bobbie Spencer, and Dr. Monica Quartermaine running into the room as Stefan pulled her away from their ailing sister and the high pitched noise that was echoing in their ears seemed to grow even louder. _

_"Kristina! Stefan, please…. Please don't make me leave her…" Alexis cried as she heard Monica explaining and she and Stefan would have to wait outside. _

_They were peering in the window when Ned came running from around the corner, meeting Stefan and Alexis' worried gazes. _

_"Oh, no…no…" Ned trailed off as he looked in to find them performing CPR and yelling out doses of medication. _

_Stefan hugged his sister tighter around the shoulders as he felt the sobs wracking her body. He, too, could no longer hold back his emotions as they both stood, watching their baby sister slip away. Suddenly all of the noises stopped. It was silent and all that could be heard was the nurse's announcement of the time. _

_Alexis turned to see Bobbie approaching them, looking sympathetically between them all._

_"I'm so sorry…" _

_"No," Alexis shook her head as sobs over took her body, "NO…. please, no." _

_"Alexis," Stefan pulled her close, crying together as Ned went back into the room and he could see him collapse into sobs at Kristina's bedside. _

_"No, Stefan…" She sobbed, "This can't be happening… It's my fault. This is all my fault." _

_"Shhh… no, Natasha… it's not your fault," He soothed; he kissed her head while hugging her close. _

_"My choices…" She hiccupped as she pulled away and looked him in the eye, "It was my choices that put her here. I killed my sister." _

_"Shh…shhh…"Stefan was about to counter her argument when Ned's voice bellowed from the door. _

_"You son-of-a-bitch! She's dead!" Ned exploded as he tore after Julian who was standing by the nurse's station, grabbing him by the collar, "You did this! You killed her!"_

_"What?" _

_Everyone stopped and turned in the direction of the small voice in question. Sam was standing before them, frozen, her hands at her sides. Her eyes scanned every person standing before her, until they landed on her mother. _

_"Mom?" Her voice waivered, she wanted nothing more than to hear her mother tell her they were wrong. It wasn't true. But she didn't. Instead, she couldn't speak. _

_Upon Ned's release, Julian approached his daughter, reaching to take her hand, but she shrugged it away. _

_"No!" Sam turned to him in fury, "Don't touch me!" _

_"Sam…" Julian stood back, watching as his young daughter bolted from him and disappeared around the corner. He turned to Stefan and Alexis, "Alexis…" _

_"Julian," Stefan's voice was low with warning, "Not now… just… keep your distance." _

_Alexis locked eyes with him, though. And the look he found within them was like nothing he had ever seen before. This was exactly what she had always feared… what he had feared, too. He watched her shrug from Stefan's hold. _

_"Alexis…" Stefan tried to deter her, knowing now exactly how fragile she was. _

_"I need to go find Sam," She spoke flatly and with her arms crossed, she walked away. _

_As she walked through the halls, she tried to compose herself… tried to stay calm and not think about anything but finding her daughter. They needed each other… now more than ever. She was lost in her own thoughts when she heard a faint sound coming from around the corner. One step further and she found Sam, in a ball on the floor, hugging her knees close as she sobbed. _

_Alexis couldn't speak… she couldn't do a thing except sit next to her baby girl, wrap her arms around her, and cry right along with her. _

_"Mommy…" Sam sobbed as she buried her head in Alexis' chest, "Why Aunt Kristina? Why is she dead?" _

_"I don't know, baby girl… I don't know…" Alexis tried to comfort as she rocked her daughter back and forth, "I'm so sorry, baby…" _

_"I want to see her," Sam pulled away, her bloodshot eyes meeting her mother's, "Please, I need to see her." _

_"No, sweetheart," Her mother shook her head, "You don't want to see her…" _

_"Yes, I do!" Sam yelled before jumping up from the floor and trying to run away, only to have to her mother grip her arm, "Stop it, mom! Stop! I need to see her! I need to say goodbye!" _

_"Sam, please…" Alexis pleaded and Sam dissolved into a puddle of tears as her mother pulled her back into her embrace, "We don't have to say goodbye, peanut… we don't ever have to say goodbye." _

_"She's not here anymore," Sam cried, "She's not here and it's my dad's fault. I need to tell her I'm sorry!" _

_Alexis put a hand under Sam's chin to shift her gaze to her, "You don't ever have to apologize for your father, ever. Do you understand me?" _

_Sam's eyes filled with tears as she nodded. _

_"I know that it's so hard to understand… I don't really understand it myself," Alexis drew a deep breath, "But even though she is gone… aunt Kristina will always, always be with us… okay?" _

_"How?!" Sam cried, "I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to hug her again." _

_"I know, baby… I know…" She held her daughter close, "You know… she's a part of all of us that love her. When we hug each other… we're hugging her too." _

_"It's not the same," The little girl continued to cry. _

_"I know it's not. But it's all we have now… we have to cherish it." Alexis kissed her daughter's head again and then rested her cheek atop it, "Life is always changing. And sometimes part of that change is losing the people that we love. I know how hard it is to understand." _

_"I'll never understand." _

_Alexis closed her eyes at her daughter's admission. She had to admit, she felt that way, too._

"Mom?"

Alexis heard Sam's voice and finally focused her eyes back on her daughter, she forced a smile.

"Are you crying?" Sam was immediately concerned as she sat up further in bed and studied her mother carefully.

"I'm fine, honey… just thinking. I'm all right." Alexis wiped away the remaining tears before focusing in on the bassinet where the new baby boy was stirring, "Somebody's hungry."

"Yeah…" Sam sighed as she lifted the bundle into her lap. She looked up at her mom, "You know, I didn't realize it until these past few hours but eight years is a long time."

"Yeah…" Alexis chuckled, getting up from her seat and taking a seat on the edge of her daughter's bed so that she could help her get the baby situated, "Try twelve…"

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Raise me and the girls without going completely insane?" Sam's face was serious but Alexis couldn't help but chuckle.

"It was easy… all three of you were good kids," Alexis tucked a stray piece of hair behind her daughter's ear, "I wasn't always the best mother."

"Yes you were," She smiled, "I wasn't always the best daughter."

"I think we both made our fair share of mistakes," Her mother sighed, "But unfortunately for you, you were the first…"

"The guinea pig," Sam smirked before sighing, "I know that Lila is going to be a great big sister… but I just... I don't want her to suffer for my inability to balance this motherhood thing. I don't want her life to be disrupted."

"It won't be disrupted," She reassured as she caressed the newborn's cheek, "It's going to change… but that's good for her. She needs to learn that life doesn't always stay the same… and some change is good. This is a good change."

"I know," Sam nodded as she struggled to situate the baby to feed.

Alexis could tell she was getting frustrated, "Do you need another pillow, honey?"

"No… Stupid me… I thought this breast feeding thing would be a piece of cake since I already did it before… but…" She shook her head, focusing intently on her baby who was struggling to appease his hunger.

Alexis winced as Sam squeezed her eyes shut in pain, "That hurts…"

"Yeah," Her now wide opened eyes focused on her mother, "I forgot about this part…"

"I wish I would have breast fed you girls…" Alexis brushed a hand along her daughter's hair, "It just wasn't that popular when I had you… and then when Kristina and Molly came along I guess I just went with what I knew."

"Yeah, well," Sam shrugged, "We all turned out just fine… at least I think so."

"Better than fine." She smiled and lovingly cupped her daughter's cheek.

"Mom" Sam tilted her head, "why were you crying?"

"I was just thinking," She answered softly, "About your aunt Kristina."

"Yeah? I think about her all the time…" Sam smiled.

"Me too," Her mother nodded and Sam could tell she was growing emotional.

"Speaking of Kristinas…" Her daughter smirked, "Krissy may or may not have mentioned something about you and Dad in the hallway…"

"Sam," Alexis rolled her eyes, "Please."

"Please what, mom!?" Sam was beaming, "I think it's great."

"You think it's great that the minute your father gets into town we end up making out?" Alexis raised a brow and watched Sam cringe.

"Okay… can we like back off the terminology? You were just… together… a little bit… okay?"

"Since when did you become such a prude?"

"You're my parents!" Sam exclaimed, "Please… no one wants to hear that."

"Okay, well, whatever." Alexis shrugged, focusing on her grandson, "There was nothing going on. We just… were happy, that's all."

Sam's eyes shined, "Am I going to have another little baby brother or sister soon?"

"Samantha!" Alexis scolded and if it weren't for the pleasantly nursing baby between them, she would have given her daughter a good whack, "Besides the fact that that particular biological ship has sailed… You father and I are… nothing. We're nothing."

"You're my mom and Dad… Daniel and Lila's grandparents… Molly and Kristina's…"

"Yes, I know, smartass…"

"Hey, watch your language," She lowered her brow before looking down at the bundle at her chest, "Your grandma has a potty mouth, yes she does…"

"You are awfully feisty for having just given birth, you know?" Alexis smirked.

"Mom…" Sam's face grew serious as she met eyes with her mother, "All I'm saying is that… you and Dad… you've always been "it" for each other. And a lot has changed now. He's so different. Why can't you just give it a chance?"

"Because I can't, Sam…" Alexis shook her head, "I can't do that again… I can't do it to him and to you and your sisters and the kids… and I can't do it to me."

"Do what?" She looked at her intently, "Why do you automatically assume it's not going to work?"

"Because it never does… It never works." Alexis stated plainly before getting up and walking to the window. But Sam wasn't going to give up.


	11. Chapter 11

Here's the next update. Thanks to everyone that reads and reviews. It's what keeps me inspired.

**Chapter 11**

_Alexis stood by herself in the middle of the church. It was early, too early for any friends or relatives to arrive, bringing their condolences and words of comfort. She stood, arms crossed, in front of her sister's closed casket. Taking a step towards it, she released one arm from the fold and rested her hand atop the shiny oak finish. _

_"Kristina…" She whispered, struggling to control her emotions, "I don't know what to say… I don't even know where to start. Except, that… I'm so, so sorry… I'm so sorry…." She could no longer hold back her tears and collapsed back into the first pew, crying into her hands for a moment before she rested her head and looked back at the large wooden box before her. _

_"My dear, sweet, sister," Alexis smiled softly, "I hope you always knew… and know now how much I love you. I love you so much. I meant it, you know, when I told you that I was going to name this baby after you… and if she is just a fraction is the spirited, beautiful and loving person that you are… she will be blessed beyond measure..." _

_"Mom?" _

_Alexis turned swiftly to find Sam standing a few rows back from her, "Hi, sweetie…" _

_"Mom…" Sam started, still standing back from her mother, "Are you having a baby?" _

_"Sam… come here…" Alexis held out her arms and Sam entered them willingly, taking a seat beside her mother and allowing her to hold her close, "I wanted to tell you before now…" _

_Sam leaned back, looking her mother in the eye, "So, you are having a baby." _

_"Yes," Her mother nodded, watching as Sam's eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, sweetheart. We were going to tell you on your birthday… but…" _

_"It's okay," Sam wiped her tears, "It's just…" _

_Alexis watched Sam turn to her aunt's casket before looking back to her, "What, honey?" _

_"You were right. Aunt Kristina will be with us forever… through the new baby… baby Kristina," Sam's tears overflowed to her cheeks and her mother nodded in agreement. _

_"Yeah… I think so, too," Alexis pulled her daughter close again, "I'm so happy that you're going to get the chance to be the big sister I never could be for your aunt Kristina." _

_"Mommy…" Sam looked up at her, "You were the best big sister. Aunt Kristina loved you so much." _

_"I know, baby…" _

_"This wasn't your fault," The young girls face was serious, "This wasn't your fault at all. This was Dad's fault. And I will never, ever forgive him. Ever!" _

_"Shh…" Alexis calmed a now sobbing Sam as she pulled her into her arms again and rocked her back and forth. Her eye caught a figure standing at the back of the church and when she turned, Julian's face locked with hers. As much as she didn't want to see him… didn't want to look at him… she could see the hurt on his face upon hearing their daughter's words. _

_Julian watched her look away, closing her eyes as she comforted Sam. He wanted to walk up the aisle and beg then both for forgiveness and let them know how sorry he was. That was why he was there in the first place. But part of him felt it futile. Instead, he just turned, hands in pockets, and walked out of the church. _

"I like this one!" Lila pointed to the fluffy blue and white stuffed dog on the shelf in the gift shop, "It's so soft!"

Julian watched from outside the glass paned gift shop walls as Alexis smiled to the little girl and they both admired the stuffed animal before she nodded for Lila to retrieve it and give it to the cashier at the counter.

He had been watching them for a while, through the glass, as they perused the gift shop in search of the most special present for Lila to give to her new baby brother. The day had been long. He had gone to Kelly's to fetch dinner for the whole family and when he arrived in Sam's room she explained that Alexis and Lila had gone on a secret mission. He couldn't help but notice Sam's smile when he volunteered to go find them.

To anyone passing by, they may have thought it a little strange that he had been standing outside of the gift shop for the past ten minutes, spying on Alexis and their granddaughter through the glass. To Julian… it was something he had grown accustomed to. There had been many times in his life where all of the contact he could have with his children was from afar… watching them as they played in the park or standing in the back of the auditorium at their school play. It was a sad truth to admit but it was a truth nonetheless, and no one's fault but his own.

"Grampa!" Lila's excited voice drew him from his daydream and to the petite girl standing before him, "Look what I got for Danny!"

"Look at that!" Julian kneeled to her level and admired the blue and white puppy she was holding in front of him, "He's going to love it!"

Alexis was watching him intently when his eyes shifted to meet hers, "What are you doing out here?"

"Looking for you two," Julian smirked when he rose to his feet and sensed her assumption of peculiarity at his presence, "Dinner is upstairs."

"Oh," She nodded before looking back to Lila, "You hungry?"

"Yeah," The little girl nodded, taking her grandmother's hand as she held the dog under her other arm. She turned back to Julian as the three of them began to make their way down the hall, "Did you get me extra pickles?"

"Sure did," Julian smiled at her satisfaction, "A whole cup of extra pickles."

"Sweet pickles." She affirmed seriously.

He chuckled, "Yes, of course. Why would I ever think to get anything else?!"

"Just checking!" Lila's eyes were wide as they stepped onto the elevator, "Mommy and Grandma…"

"Like dill…" Julian finished her statement, noticing Alexis' eyes shift in his direction, "I know."

"How do you know?" Lila was looking at him curiously when he leaned over to her.

"There's not much I don't know about my girls," He kissed her head and smoothed her hair as the elevator door opened. He watched as Alexis held out her hand clasped to Lila's to guide the little girl out of the elevator. Waiting for her to pass in front of him he placed a hand on the small of her back as he exited behind her.

That's all it took. One small touch from Julian was all it took for Alexis to lose her breath. It was always that way… that's what would always get them in trouble. Trouble. It was such a loaded word. What was trouble, exactly? Three beautiful daughters and now two beautiful grandchildren and a family full of love. What was so troublesome about that?

"Alexis…"

She looked up to find him staring at her as they approached Sam's open hospital room door where chatter was spilling out, "What?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah," She nodded as Lila let go of her hand and skipped into the room.

"We, uh…" He cleared his throat, backing away from the door slightly, out of view of their children in the room, "We didn't really finish our conversation earlier."

"Julian…" She sighed.

"Alexis… I just want you to talk to me… I just…"

Alexis placed a hand to his cheek and smiled softly, "We'll talk."

For a moment he thought she would kiss him… but instead, it was just the light touch to his cheek. That was it before she turned and entered their daughter's hospital room leaving him to follow behind.

"We were wondering where you were!" Sam smiled from the bed where she cradled Danny in her arms and munched on her French fries.

"Yeah…" Jason raised a brow from where he sat in the chair with Lila in his lap, "I had to hide your fries from your daughter…"

"Hey," Sam's brow furrowed, "Breastfeeding burns calories, okay?"

"Oh, you can have my fries," Alexis cupped her eldest's face under the chin and squished her cheeks before melting at the sight of the peaceful bundle in her arms, "As long as you let me have this one…"

Sam smiled, allowing her mother to lift Daniel into her arms. She then gestured to her father to hand her the bag, "Fries please."

Alexis rolled her eyes as she bounced the newborn in her arms and proceeded to become mesmerized by his features, "You are so perfect."

"We were just admiring his new puppy," Jason smirked to Alexis as Lila's face beamed.

"He loves it, gramma!" Lila beamed as she munched on the little sweet pickle in her hand.

"I knew that he would…" She winked to her granddaughter.

"Mom… aren't you going to eat?" Kristina smirked as she watched her mother marvel over Daniel, walking around the room.

"Later…" Alexis beamed when the baby opened his eyes as she took a seat by the window, "Hi, honey!"

Julian was smiling as he rested against the wall across the room, putting his hands firmly in his pockets, watching Alexis bonding with their new grandson. Everyone else's focus had shifted; Kristina was talking to Sam… Molly to Lila and Jason about school and the books she recommended her to read… the room was bustling with their family's chatter but yet, it was quiet. It was almost melodic. It was perfect.

Alexis was now admiring the baby boy through clouded sight as tears filled her eyes. She knew he was looking at her… she knew he was feeling the same way she was in that moment. If she met his eyes… she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings. One look at her face and he would see the love she had for him written all over it. How ever complicated and tumultuous and heartbreaking their lives were at times… they created this family that was sitting together celebrating the new addition to their lives. Blinking her eyes, she focused in on the freshly newborn baby boy that faced her from her lap. His little nose and mouth that reminded her of her daughter's petite face when she was born… the features she got from her father.

Sam turned from Kristina who had become preoccupied with a text message, to her father, where he stood against the wall, in a trance… his only focus being the woman that was seated by the window and the baby she held in her arms.

Julian took a deep breath and turned when he felt his daughter's eyes on him. After giving a loving smile and a wink, he looked away and then discretely exited the room.

"Mom," Sam turned to her mother who looked up to meet her face but quickly noticed Julian's absence, "Where's dad going?"

"I'm not sure…" She cleared her throat and sniffed away her tears, "Maybe he needed to make a call."

"He… he hasn't really said much tonight… you want to make sure he's okay?"

Alexis looked at Sam for a moment before fidgeting in her seat and readjusting the baby in her arms, "Your father's fine. He can take care of himself."

"Really, mom," Sam gave her a knowing glance.

"What?" Her eyes were wide and she quickly glanced to Kristina and Molly that were sitting barely a foot away from them, "Not now…"

"If not now, then when?"

"We talked about this, Samantha," Alexis lowered her voice when she caught Kristina's glance at the mention of her sister's full name.

"We didn't talk about anything… you didn't answer my question."

Alexis held the baby against her chest as he began to fuss, "I'm sorry… I must have skipped that chapter in the book on parenting about having to answer to your children."

"Ooooo…" Kristina's eyes widened and she couldn't hide her chuckle.

"Shut up, Krissy," Sam rolled her eyes.

"Be nice to your sister," Alexis scolded as she laid the baby in her daughter's arms, "Teach your daughter how to be a good big sister. And your baby is hungry."

"Yeah, Sam…" Kristina mocked, "Teach Lila how to be a nice big sister not a mean one like you are."

"Hey, my mommy isn't mean!" Lila scolded her aunt from her father's lap and Jason struggled to hide his smirk.

"You know… I've got a great idea… I'm going to take a little walk and I will leave you all to have some Davis Girls time…"

Jason's stood and lifted Lila into the chair he just vacated before making his way out of the room.

"Okay…" Kristina looked between her mother as sister as Molly observed astutely, "What is going on here? What are you two talking about?"

"Okay, you know what?" Alexis displayed an overly enthusiastic smile as she looked to Lila, "I think I'm in the mood for dessert, what do you think my angel?"

The little girl's eyes lit up, "Yeah!"

"Mom! You didn't even eat dinner yet!" Sam furrowed her brow as she adjusted the nursing infant at her chest.

"That's okay, mommy," Lila shrugged to Sam as she took her grandmother's hand, "Sometimes you can eat meals backwards."

"Oh, really?" Sam smirked.

"Yeah," The little girl nodded, "Grampa Julian says that all the time."

"Of course he does," Alexis rolled her eyes and guided the little girl out of the room leaving the Davis sisters to exchange glances amongst each other.


End file.
